Here at Giant Freakin’ Robot, we’re not above going below the belt for a story every once in a while. But rather than dropping a massive genitalia tale on your laps, we’re going to ask you to close your eyes and start sniffing. Finally, a Frenchman has come along and figured out a way to make sure our farts don’t stink anymore, and it’s thankfully not just a Glade PlugIn with a very special adapter. May I introduce you to Lutin Malin, the company with the pill that can (allegedly) make your farts smell like chocolate, among other things.
French musician, artist and inventor Christian Poincheval actually first developed these all natural ingredients-filled pills back in 2006 as a way of helping people’s indigestion, but they also happened to make one’s flatulence smell less like a backed-up sewer and more like roses and things. If you go to the main website, you can read about how the dietary supplements contain charcoal to help relieve fullness after meals, fennel seeds for dyspepsia, lithothamne for neutralizing heartburn, propolis to decrease harmful bacteria and myrtille to help with diarrhea. Seaweed and blueberries and other natural essences are also used. And chocolate is only the latest fragrance that Lutin Malin is putting out to customers. (Now all I can think about is the fennel seeds causing farts that smell like black licorice, and that’s enough to make me want to plug up my nose with cement.)
Poincheval said the idea was conceived after a dinner with friends left them particularly smelly, enough so that they were “nearly suffocated.” Classy, to say the least. Is it weird that I expected these pills to cost a shitload of money? As it happens, a jar of 60 will set customers back around $13 (or 9,99 €). And that’s for chocolate, rose OR violet. (Buy three, get one free, even.) And you can even get some for your dogs, who generally don’t have the good sense to get out of the room when they’re about to drop a gas bomb. Check out Poincheval waxing happily about his products in the video below.
Farts have been fairly important for making the world the way it is, but it’s clearly time our diets started reflecting the odors we want to exude. It wasn’t long ago that someone invented a giant farting machine and aimed it at France. Could that have just been a method of revenge for all these new nice-smelling butts?