Star Wars 7 Reveals Plot And Character Descriptions You Need To Read For Yourself

By Brent McKnight | Published

loose-lips-bring-down-starshipsEspecially now that Disney and Lucasfilm are actively working to expand the universe in a major way, I can’t envision a time in the near future when Star Wars isn’t a big deal and at the top of the heap as far as news goes. And with Star Wars: Episode VII deep in production (a report making the rounds the other day said Harrison Ford is actually finished filming, assuming there is no need for reshoots), the public hunger is at an all time high.

When director J.J. Abrams shared that “Loose Lips Bring Down Starships” security poster the other day, we thought, for a second, that maybe we’d see less spoilers and leaks from the set, but apparently that’s not the case, as now we’ve got descriptions of a bunch of characters, both heroes and villains, as well as a big ass battle. You probably assumed this, but I’ll say it anyway, there are SPOILERS beyond this point, so read on with caution.

Making Star Wars has laid eyes on some concept art, and have offered up their take on what they saw. The more we hear from set, real, fake, or eventually cut out of the film, the more it sounds like Abrams and company are putting a ton of cool stuff into this movie, and if nothing else, it’s going to be one hell of a sprawling spectacle.

The first piece they saw features a line up of six rebels, three men and three women. They describe one of them like this:

The first fighter is male, early twenties, he has Adam Driver’s haircut, longer, and kind of swooped to the side. Dark hair. He wears a mustard tunic, closed, with a black best. He has dark brown pants. He wears boots but the ankles are wrapped in white like Anakin Skywalker’s in The Phantom Menace. He looks directly at the camera, blaster in hand and at his side.

Another piece of art they saw shows someone who is obviously up to no good, not that we’re all about judging books by their cover, or anything. They say:

The helmet looks like a samurai helmet. If you took Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and removed all the ornate additions from the helmet, you could have something similar. The back is kind of like Vader’s helmet but it is short, it just protects the back of the head, leaving the neck exposed. The face is covered. But you can see the eyes. This costume is Darth Vader if he were a ninja. Where the eye holes are, there is some light colored design. It has a good vibe about it. It reminds me of Shredder, a little bit of someone from Cobra in the old G.I. Joe and he has a black flowing cloak and red lightsaber which makes it look very cool.

And you have to appreciate using awesome cartoons to describe the characters. That’s a nice frame of reference, but you can’t help but wonder what they’re going look like rendered on screen.

General Grievous
General Grievous
This next character also sounds like a bag guy, but when you start off evoking General Grievous, that’s kind of where you’re going to wind up, even if he was covered in kittens and rainbows. And this guy is most certainly not covered in kittens or rainbows.

The figure’s face is almost like General Grievous in spirit. White, skeletal, black eye sockets with little pin points [for] eyes. The mouth is almost like Jerry Lewis style buck teeth. Is it an apparatus? But make no mistake, he’s scary! The face is totally white but its face looks like a mask, but it appears to be its skin, as its hands are the same color. The head is almost pointed but where a hair line would begin, there’s pointy wicker like brambles sticking straight up. The face is almost as if Satan made an army of Shy Guys from Super Mario Brothers and outfitted them with riffles.

He wears a dirty brown poncho. His boots are sort of like a Tusken Raider’s boots. His pants are tied off. He has a bandolier with bullets and pouches strung across his chest. He has a sniper riffle weapon with a scope on it. At the end of the rifle, the barrel is almost rocket shaped. It clearly isn’t a rocket though. At his waste a leather pouch rest covering his belt line.

Tie FightersThe report goes on to list a scene that appears to be a classroom, where a teacher lectures a group of young students, all of whom are aliens except one little girl. There is also a description of a “Special Forces TIE Fighter,” one that John Boyega’s character may crash at the beginning of the film. It sounds like similar to the classic ones, but with tweaks and changes. This new craft is:

very much the same classic TIE Fighter from the front. But it is black. It isn’t a dull black either, it kind of a shiny black on the body, closer to Darth Vader’s shine than the classic dark TIE Fighter dull black paint. The wings are exactly the same as the TIE wings we’ve seen in the past. The distinguishing feature on these new TIEs is the red markings near the glass cockpit. It is painted red. If the front of the TIE was a clock, two, three, and four o’clock are red on the right. On the left, eight, nine, and ten o’clock are red in that area. The same goes for the back of the fighter

And while character and craft descriptions are nice, that will only carry you so far, but MSW also has an account of what appears to be a large-scale battle. There are “pod like” creatures, speeder bikes, and, perhaps most importantly, stormtroopers with flamethrowers. I, for one, can’t wait to see that for myself. Here is some of what they have to say:

This planet is inhabited by large creatures with tentacles. They are not unlike the Expanded Universe’s Orgons. But I do not believe they are one and the same, its just a good comparison. The body is more peanut shaped and the tentacles are easily 90 feet long. The body of these creatures is about 2.5 times the length of a speeder bike. The creatures travel fast with their long arms by grabbing onto the tree cover and traveling like a fast kid on the monkey bars.

In one piece of concept art we see the trees high into the air. To the far right of the frame, two speeder bikes race for their lives! They’re being chased by two of the tentacled beasts. The bodies of the monsters are shaped like peanuts, we can only see the silhouette of these monsters under the tree cover. They have long tentacles, six in total, three on each side of its body and it use those tentacles to transverse the tree tops chasing down the speeder bikers. The bikers are racing side by side practically, but the beasts are also chasing them side by side and it doesn’t look very good for the biker closest to us in the frame. It seems he’ll likely be killed in a matter of moments.

Okay, you probably knew that we were already pretty psyched about Star Wars: Episode VII and are marking the days between now and December 18, 2015 off on our calendar one by one. But the idea of many-tentacled creatures swinging through trees and fighting stormtroopers in a big ass battle, well that just made us start drooling. I’m positively giddy.

This is the way.

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