I already made a joke about Mayan apocalypse in another story, and frankly, I’ve been bored with the subject for a couple of decades now. But look at history coming back to bite us all in the necks, Mayan vampire style. While doing research that had nothing to do with Mayan vampires, renowned Maya scholar David Stuart unleashed a nuclear truth bomb, ruthlessly ending the world…as we know it…when it comes to what ancient civilizations had to say about specific dates in the future.
Stuart, also a University of Texas at Austin Mesoamerican art history professor, actually discovered and said all this stuff about six months ago, but as a website, we know people forget things, and timeliness of subject is sometimes a bigger draw than timeliness of the actual occurrence. Holy shit, I just unleashed some truth of my own.
He was brought to the ruins of La Corona in the jungles of Guatemala in April and May to study staircase risers found at a Maya court residence, whose inscriptions depicted a visit by the powerful Calakmul ruler, Yuknoom Yich’aak K’ahk’, who’d just been defeated in battle, but was reassuring the local population that he was not dead or captured as feared. It is the longest piece of text ever found in Guatemala. This was in 696 BCE.
When 4 Ahau 3 K’ank’in, or December 21, or the end of the 13th Bak’tun, is referenced, it is an uplifting sign to his people that his glory began at the beginning of that 394-year stretch, and then just sorta called out 2012 to be a good year for the end of a Bak’tun. Says Stuart of the meaning behind the seemingly bullshitty futurespeak, “Ancient Maya scribes liked to record the comings and goings of various periods in their calendar, including future ones, because they were intimately tied to their political and religious life. In two texts they tied this future Bak’tun ending to their contemporary world, mostly because of interesting numerological patterns that seemed cosmically relevant.”
So just think, someone in the distant future might have access to some of the writings that have been done about this end of the world malarkey. And just like we able-minded people thought the Maya prophecies were just crazy talk, people who read the current lunatics’s ramblings will also be deemed abhorrently misinformed. But whereas we have been corrected, those in the future will be correct from the start.