Guardians Of The Galaxy Gets Roasted By Cinema Sins

By David Wharton | 6 years ago

We never get tired of Cinema Sins’ recurring “Everything Wrong With Such-and-Such” video series, which aims to pick every last nit in films ranging from the Transformers movies to The Fault in Our Stars. But it’s easy to mock objectively terrible moves. It’s a lot more daunting to roast the sacred cows, and you’d be hard pressed to find a more beloved 2014 movie than Guardians of the Galaxy. I mean, it’s one of the biggest hits of the year and is currently rocking a 90% Fresh Rotten Tomatoes score, but it’s not like it’s perfect. So let’s see how harsh the Cinema Sins folks are to Star-Lord and company, shall we?

Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it? Thankfully most of Guardians’ 113 sins — less those detracted for Groot’s general awesomeness — are of the minor quibble variety, or at least the sort of stuff we overlook in good movies all the time, rather than anything that would actually ruin our enjoyment of the flick. Hell, the Cinema Sins crew even admits up front that this isn’t going to be a crucifiction:

You loved it, everyone loved it, it’s one of the highest-grossing films of the year… but, like all films, Guardians of the Galaxy still has some sins. Sit back, put in your favorite 70’s tune, and groove to the sins of an admittedly-rather-groovy film.

One of the big quibbles is one that the Internet has been decrying for months now: Star-Lord’s seemingly immortal Sony Walkman and “Awesome Mix, Vol. 1” cassette tape. After all, where was Star-Lord getting batteries for that thing? Or replacement parts over the intervening 26 years after his abduction from Earth? Hell, how has the tape itself not fallen apart yet? Thankfully director James Gunn recently addressed the issue in snarky fashion:

GUYS, THEY HAVE THE ALIEN TECHNOLOGY TO TRAVEL FASTER THAN LIGHT BETWEEN PLANETS, I think they can figure out an alternative power source for the Walkman, and they likely also have technology to slow the degradation to the tape and player. This seems obvious to me.

There you have it. Just assume there’s a tiny little Mr. Fusion inside the Walkman’s battery slot and quit worrying about it.

While we’re picking on Guardians, here’s the “Honest Trailer” from Screen Junkies as well.

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