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The Sci-Fi Expendables: We Recruit The Ultimate Team Of SF Badasses

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LockoutGuy Pearce from Lockout
Sure, Pearce has an actual name in Lockout, but “Marion Snow” doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of bad guys. But no matter, because his personality and ability to bust skulls in outer space make him as memorable as any action hero over the last decade or so. In the movie, he’s sent to rescue the President’s daughter from an orbiting maximum security prison where inmates are running amok, which is clearly the only item anyone’s resume needs in order to get them into a superteam. As a former government agent, Snow already has a good grip on how to go about getting things done in an official capacity, so he’d be able to gauge the enemy’s tactics better than most. (Not to mention being able to possibly figure out how the government would step in to try and stop the Sci-Fi Expendables big mission.) As evidenced several times in Lockout, Snow can take a punch like nobody’s business; and since he hates heights, he’s the guy getting shit done on the ground, where punches are more likely to be thrown. But by far his biggest talent is slinging out Luc Besson-written quips and verbal jabs as if he’d been speaking them since birth. And, I mean, people love him. Just ask your wife.

CameronCameron Phillips
Unlike the Expendables, we’re trying to keep things a bit more gender-balanced in our Sci-Fi Expendables. Because let’s face it, any merc crew that would turn its nose up at Ripley or Sarah Connor deserves the inevitable ass-whupping it’s going to get. But on a team full of obvious heavy hitters, it’s nice to have somebody around that the opposing team will constantly be underestimating. Enter Cameron, by all appearances a harmless and tiny teenage girl who couldn’t possibly be a threat to OH HOLY SHIT SHE JUST PUNCHED THAT GUY’S SPINE OUT HIS BACK. Unless she’s already been through a firefight and scraped off a bunch of her organic covering, nobody’s going to see Cameron coming, meaning she’s perfect for a bit of undercover snooping around or just catching the bag guys with their pants down (literally or figuratively, depending on what mission parameters you program into her). She’s got all the advantages of Arnie’s T-800 but with the added element of surprise, and she absolutely will not stop, ever, until her target is dead.

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Comments

  1. ronin1572 says:

    Snake Pliscan

  2. Ian Case says:

    Mal? Jayne? River? Zoe? I’d put at least one of them on the team.