Sci-Fi’s 10 Most Annoying Characters

NotSimplyIt’s happened countless times. You’ve got an otherwise great show or movie that’s firing on all cylinders… but there’s this one guy. This one bad apple who nearly spoils the whole bunch, simply by constantly doing stupid things or saying stupid things or hanging around looking at things with his stupid face. We’re not saying Carl from The Walking Dead was like that, but we are saying that if we had an awards show for that sort of thing, it would just be one long montage of Carl dying.

So, we’ve decided to celebrate some of the absolute worst, the characters from science fiction television who constantly made us want to punch a wall, especially if their head was between our fist and said wall. We’ll be measuring them against the accepted international unit of measurement for terribleness, Jar Jar Binks. (For purposes of this article, five Jar Jars is equivalent to going full Jar Jar, meaning you should nuke the site from orbit, because it’s the only way to be sure.)

One last note: we didn’t set out trying to populate this piece with so many kids, but it just sort of worked out that way.

IHOPCarl Grimes (The Walking Dead)

For all of its strengths, The Walking Dead can’t ever seem to get over the hill that is “strong character development.” There are likable characters and detestable characters, but Carl Grimes didn’t come from the mind of any mere writer, for he was created from the ashes of the former Tenth Circle of Hell. In Robert Kirkman’s comic series, Carl is a kid who is understandably having trouble coping with his trial-by-error education on survival in a post-apocalyptic world. In the TV show, Carl is a testosterone-free dip who is perpetually mad ’cause Daddy won’t let him hold the gun real close.

Seriously, I’ve been through an appendicitis exam that was less painful than watching this kid formulate ideas that he has an identity that’s worth more to the group than, say, a sock full of dead batteries. I don’t even blame the petulant performances from actor Chandler Riggs, because he’s not the one putting lines in his own mouth. For four seasons, Carl has been his own biggest threat, always finding himself in trouble after some adolescent tirade. He has yet to fuck it all up in Season 5, but as sure as the moon will rise tonight, it’s coming.


How We Would Kill Him Off: Just as he’s about to have sex for the first time, he gets thrown into a giant dumpster, where everyone forgets about him and he starves to death.

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Alien, Inception, And More Reimagined As Traditional Ottoman Paintings

It never fails to amaze me just how many out-of-left-field ways creative fans come up with to remix and riff on their favorite movies. We’ve seen animated gifs designed to look like custom neon art. We’ve seen Lucasfilm and ILM employees take sidewalk art to the next level. And now? Now we can see what classic science fiction films such as Alien, Inception, and A Clockwork Orange would look like if adapted into traditional Ottoman-style paintings. See if you can guess which one this is.


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Science Is One Step Closer To Making One Of Our Sci-Fi Nightmares A Reality

Terminator 2No matter how many speculative cautionary tales science fiction produces, science keeps inching us ever closer to our inevitable doom at the hands of our eventual robot overlords. Take, for instance, James Cameron’s 1991 blockbuster Terminator 2: Judgment Day. We all watched that and were like, whew, thank god that terrifying molten metal man doesn’t really exist. And while we’ve been able to think that for more than the last two decades, thanks to science, we’re one step closer to seeing that shape-shifting Robert Patrick that has haunted so many of our dreams become a reality.

It’s a baby step, but like I said, we’re getting closer and closer to Skynet every day. A team of researchers at North Carolina State University have taken it upon themselves to create a liquid metal alloy that can reshape itself in a way that may be unsettlingly familiar to some of us. It’s cool, and fascinating, but also won’t to anything to help alleviate your T2 induced nightmares.

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Seven Things To Watch Instead Of Transformers: Age Of Extinction

AgeFrankly, there’s probably not a lot we can say to sway you when it comes to seeing or not seeing Transformers: Age of Extinction this weekend. You should already know whether or not you’re a fan of Michael Bay’s particular brand of Kool-Aid — and now that I think about it, a grinning mug full of sugar-water bursting illogically through a brick wall is a fairly concise metaphor for Bay’s Transformers franchise in the first place. They should just go ahead and slap “Oh yeah!” on all of the posters. But assuming Age of Extinction is not on your to-do list, and assuming Snowpiercer isn’t playing anywhere near you, we’ve got seven superior alternatives to pouring Bay’s digital excess into your eye holes.

Since the Transformers movies are based on a cartoon and thus, at least theoretically, they should be suitable for all ages, we’re including a variety of different choices here, all of them involving robots in one way or another. And to hear GFR’s Nick tell it, you could marathon all of these in a row and it’d still seem shorter than sitting through Age of Extinction. Hit the jump for all our picks!

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Alien, Terminator & Mad Max Blu-Ray Box Sets Are Stupid Cheap Today

AlienPrometheusYou there! Are you wearing pants? Do those pants have pockets? If so, is it possible one or more of those pockets might contain twenty bucks? Well, thank your lucky stars that you decided to cover your shame today, buddy, because that twenty bucks could get you Blu-ray collections of the Alien, Terminator, or Mad Max films — that’s one hell of a deal.

First up is the outstanding Alien Anthology Blu-ray set, a must-have for any Alien fan, which bundles multiple versions of all four films together with a ridiculous amount of bonus features. The fact that this thing is going for $20 is insane, and if you hadn’t ever bought it, congratulations, you’ve just mastered the art of the steal. To make things even crazier, your $20 will also get you a copy of Ridley Scott’s Prometheus — as with the third and fourth Alien films, it’s not nearly as good a film as the original Alien and Aliens, but some people love it and, if nothing else, it’s a visually gorgeous film that looks amazing in high-def. Just consider it a cherry on top of the delicious ice cream sundae that is getting the Alien Anthology for nearly 80% off list price. The Anthology bonus features listing is nearly 1,000 words long and we’ve got over stuff to cover here, so just click over to Amazon and purchase/peruse at your leisure.

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Terminator 2’s Iconic Truck Chase Sequence Recreated In Grand Theft Auto V

Terminator: Genesis is currently making more headlines than normal, as set photos have hit the Internet, giving the world our first peek at Arnold Schwarzenegger’s aged T-800 and Emilia Clarke’s tiny body. But that’s in the future, and we’re talking about the past here, though it’s admittedly one that takes place partly in the future. It’s the iconic truck scene from James Cameron’s Terminator 2: Judgment Day, as recreated completely within the universe of Rockstar Games’ Grand Theft Auto V. A case of sensational fan art, or just people with too much time on their hands? That’s for you to decide, and do so by using an animation from Resident Evil.

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