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Terminator 5 Receives The Worst Name Change Yet

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Diehard followers of the Terminator franchise aren’t the kind of people who will let something as silly as a few name changes get in the way of their fandom. That’s a good thing for Paramount Pictures and Skydance Productions, as the newest film has changed titles again. It has already frozen the Internet, which then fell down and smashed into a million pieces before melting and reforming into something resembling Skynet. The movie is now called Terminator: Genisys. You’re wellcyme.

Official word on the new title came from Arnold Schwarzeneggerβ€”big surprise!β€”and it looks all the more professional, and patently ridiculous, stitched into the back of a chair, where legitimate movie titles are often displayed. While the correctly spelled subtitle “Genesis” was also a pretty lazy way of referring to this film’s dual role of both reboot and sequel, there was hope for Terminator once it did away with the subtitle completely. Yet here we are.

So “Genisys” obviously means something, and it’s probably a portmanteau of two other words. “Genius Systems” or “Genital Sysco,” perhaps? Is this movie actually all about a distribution company that ships private parts around? Probably not. It probably has a lot to do with Cyberdyne Systems and the eventual creation of Skynet and the end of the world as we know it. Does it look better to you guys dressed up like this?

terminator genisysSchwarzenegger shared the picture to document the end of production on…eesh…Terminator Genisys. His Instagram post involves a lot of thanks and appreciation, adding that the finished product will “remind the fans why they fell in love with the Terminator.” And of course, he says “I’ll be back,” a line I’m going to truly hate in this reboot if it makes an appearance. Here’s hoping director Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World) knows to keep that shit out of there.

Oddly enough, this inane title is one of the only concrete things we know for sure about the movie. In it, Jason Clarke plays resistance advocate John Connor, who sends Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese back in time to save his mother Sarah, played by Game of Thrones‘ Emilia Clarke. The events of the film will mirror James Cameron‘s first two films, only with different results. Also, different characters enter into the narrative, played by actors like Matt Smith, Lee Byung-hun, J.K. Simmons, Courtney B. Vance, Douglas Smith, and Sandrine Holt. Schwarzenegger will reprise his role of the aging-skinned T-800.

Terminator Genisys wyll hyt cynymas on July 1, 2015. For your homework, fill the comment section with subtitles this film should have used.

Comments

  1. Gio says:

    I’ll…RETURN!!!!! that works for me!!!

  2. gwood1234 says:

    The best part about Terminator: Salvation was when the CGI version of Arnie walks out of the smoke… he looked exactly like the 1984 version so I’d rather see more of that than the real old man!

  3. Me says:

    Terminator: Genityls

  4. Kevin D says:

    Well, not too surprised considering the Syfy channel. Hollywood, go figure.

  5. Billy Foos says:

    Can’t wait !!!! Arnie is the man.

  6. Tj Timberlake says:

    I like the “I’LL BE BACK” line , throw it in. Long as it’s better then the last one “I’LL BE BACK” to watch it !!!!

  7. Sauron Merciful says:

    Jesus, it may be deliberate that would be more interesting, it could be short for genetic systems, as in Cyberdyne systems which became Skynet that created the terminator, but maybe not!!

  8. Sauron Merciful says:

    Please no schwarenegger in this movie, whats happening to Christian Bale who was in termination salvation, is this film a continuation or another prequel!!

  9. Eric Erickson says:

    God. Not another remake. The first movie was fine the way it was. Why not continue the series with Christian bale. This is why the series sucks. Its never consistent.

  10. Jason Haverty says:

    I thought terminator salvation was awesome they should bring Christian bale back as john Connor

  11. Jason Haverty says:

    Yeah if they continued the salvation story line it would be great.

  12. Ronald says:

    TERMINATOR: Sarah Connor Chronicles the Final Season

  13. Jack Burton says:

    TERMINATOR: CONSTIPATION

  14. NinjaMan says:

    Genesis, the first book of the Bible which holds the first stories of its history, the creation of earth and so on. Think of Genisys as going back to how it was created, how the bots came to be… Perhaps?

  15. RogersGuy says:

    T-4 was the worst. Bale stinks and the movie was a big bore. This one has potential, but seeing 70 year old Arnie as a Terminator might induce laughs instead of awe.

    Why would Skynet build a T-100 that looked like a 70 year old man?
    I liked T-3 a lot and feel it is somehat underrated, but even in that one Arnie was on the ragged edge of being able to pull it off. That was long ago, and now he looks worse (Expendables, anyone?)

    If the writing is above average and the young actors aren’t too annoying, we might actually have something good. If not, it will get torn to shreds and be another example of a franchise being raised from the dead for no good reason…

  16. Turinawe anthony says:

    OK lets wait

  17. RiffRaff says:

    TERMINATOR: GERITOL

  18. super jim fred says:

    Terminator : Termination Tea Time And Bubble Sauce

  19. michael ellams says:

    how about this lets see how good you are at arnies age then lets see your smart arse comments then i just hope its a fun movie because i did like terminator3 but i hope it is more like T2

  20. Jonas Planck says:

    Y alwys found the Tyrminator to be a byt of a sylly concypt. Plausyble, yes. Yn fact, Y’ve lyved yt! But Y don’t thynk tyme travel wyrks yn exactly the way the fylmmakers say yt does. Too paradoxycal. The prymyse negates ytself.

  21. Major Buie says:

    A good subtitle: We need to get to the old city of Dallass to see if we can find
    more T-800’s, to asist in our journey to destroy Cyberdyne Systems.

  22. Stan Adams says:

    I know a girl whose teacher gave her a B on an essay she wrote about “The Pursuit of Happyness.”

    The teacher wrote, “This would have been an A paper, but I can’t overlook this egregious misspelling. Happyness is spelled with an *i*. Next time, proofread.”

    English spelling is a mess, anyway.

  23. mojo says:

    The last one was ok. It has to better than 3 lol. The only thing they shouldve done different in the last one is let john conner die in order to keep marcus wright around. He was a cyborg for christ sake. What better weapon could the have hoped for

  24. David Pickett says:

    Terminator 5: Take that Michael Bay!

  25. AtomicFury says:

    For me, the franchise ended with T2 – a truly remarkable film on it’s own. The third film was a slap in the face to Terminator fans like myself. From the gay bar scene, to the Elton John type shades, Nick Stahl’s hyperventilating and a female Terminator, I just resigned myself to the fact that if James Cameron isn’t involved, it’s gonna be crap.

  26. SupreVers says:

    GENISYS – ITs a way to name a software in the engineering way.

  27. Marco Moretti says:

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  28. Jason Foster says:

    I liked that in no. 3 it was “She’ll be back”. I think in 5 it should be “I won’t be back” or just “I’m done” or of course because of age of Mr. Model 101 it might be “I forgot what I came back for”….bwhahahahaah

    Also…by the IMDb actor/character list…a bit of the plot is already somewhat revealed. Lots of time leaping as there are old and young versions of characters and no carry over except Mr. Model 101.

  29. Jason Foster says:

    Would someone PLEASE make a meme of a T-800 (the bare chassis) with a walking cane, old people reading glasses and depends on!

  30. Woogs says:

    Terminator: Geriatricys

  31. Red Rowz says:

    Terminator: Kinect

  32. Daniel Lind says:

    There are only two Terminator films in my world .The rest is an afterthought.

  33. Telswint says:

    What about shyt

  34. Telswint says:

    It stands for Geriatric End Now It’s Shyte You Suckers. Best I could do but it’s still seems better than the other plot/synopsis we are hearing about.

  35. RY33 says:

    I can’t believe they are still beating this dead horse. Everything they do with this franchise makes it dumber and dumber. Skynet must be pretty goddamned stupid that they can’t kill John Connor with terminators and time travel at its disposal.

  36. Spanky says:

    Penisys πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚