Terminator 5 Receives The Worst Name Change Yet

By Nick Venable | 6 years ago

Diehard followers of the Terminator franchise aren’t the kind of people who will let something as silly as a few name changes get in the way of their fandom. That’s a good thing for Paramount Pictures and Skydance Productions, as the newest film has changed titles again. It has already frozen the Internet, which then fell down and smashed into a million pieces before melting and reforming into something resembling Skynet. The movie is now called Terminator: Genisys. You’re wellcyme.

Official word on the new title came from Arnold Schwarzenegger—big surprise!—and it looks all the more professional, and patently ridiculous, stitched into the back of a chair, where legitimate movie titles are often displayed. While the correctly spelled subtitle “Genesis” was also a pretty lazy way of referring to this film’s dual role of both reboot and sequel, there was hope for Terminator once it did away with the subtitle completely. Yet here we are.

So “Genisys” obviously means something, and it’s probably a portmanteau of two other words. “Genius Systems” or “Genital Sysco,” perhaps? Is this movie actually all about a distribution company that ships private parts around? Probably not. It probably has a lot to do with Cyberdyne Systems and the eventual creation of Skynet and the end of the world as we know it. Does it look better to you guys dressed up like this?

terminator genisysSchwarzenegger shared the picture to document the end of production on…eesh…Terminator Genisys. His Instagram post involves a lot of thanks and appreciation, adding that the finished product will “remind the fans why they fell in love with the Terminator.” And of course, he says “I’ll be back,” a line I’m going to truly hate in this reboot if it makes an appearance. Here’s hoping director Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World) knows to keep that shit out of there.

Oddly enough, this inane title is one of the only concrete things we know for sure about the movie. In it, Jason Clarke plays resistance advocate John Connor, who sends Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese back in time to save his mother Sarah, played by Game of Thrones‘ Emilia Clarke. The events of the film will mirror James Cameron‘s first two films, only with different results. Also, different characters enter into the narrative, played by actors like Matt Smith, Lee Byung-hun, J.K. Simmons, Courtney B. Vance, Douglas Smith, and Sandrine Holt. Schwarzenegger will reprise his role of the aging-skinned T-800.

Terminator Genisys wyll hyt cynymas on July 1, 2015. For your homework, fill the comment section with subtitles this film should have used.

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