It’s been clear for a long time that, of all the people in the world who have a low tolerance for fools, Star Trek‘s Klingons are right up there. Wait, they aren’t even “people in the world.” Now I’m the one that sounds like a fool! A d’k tahg to the throat for me then.
For those looking to get on a Klingon’s good side, however, take notice of the new Bing translator, which will take your favorite English phrases and tell you how a badass alien warrior might say it. For instance, if Nathan Hale were actually an alien in disguise, he might have said something like, “‘e’ vIghaj ‘ach wa’ yIn luj Sep neH pay.” But Klingons probably don’t do things like regret or lose lives for their country, so it’s possibly they would have thought Hale to be a “puj qech loD.”
Sure, there are other Klingon translators out there, considering how large the subset of fanboy speakers has grown, but this one is official, and you can even translate all those Norwegian phrases about Kirk’s hair that you’ve been saving up over the years.
This is, of course, something of a publicity stunt, as Microsoft has teamed up with Paramount Pictures for the translator update. Paramount is the company responsible for J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek Into Darkness, which we’ve probably mentioned on this website at least twice, if the basement archives are to be believed.
You can even access it from your phone, which means that whenever the Klingon makes an appearance in Into Darkness, you can pull out your phone to check for grammatical errors and become the bane of your theater neighbor’s existence.