McDonald’s Broken Ice Cream Machines Getting Fixed By The Government?

By TeeJay Small | Published

McDonald’s has become the subject of a great deal of memes and jokes in online circles for the chain’s ubiquitous failure to provide consumers with ice cream upon request. The refrain “ice cream machine broken” has become synonymous with the fast food giant, as it’s the answer employees frequently provide to those ordering soft-serve at the drive-thru. Now, per a report from the Department of Justice and the Federal Trade Commission, the federal government has had enough, as regulators have begun seeking changes to right-to-repair laws, allowing McDonald’s ice cream machines to flow as freely as their fountain sodas.

We Want A McFlurry

As the United States barrels into a highly volatile presidential election, the Department of Justice has teamed with the Federal Trade Commission to put their combined weight behind a key issue plaguing the country. In a joint letter, the agencies have petitioned the US Copyright Office to aid Americans in getting McFlurrys by the boat-load. The letter demands that McDonald’s commercial ice cream machines be made exempt from current right-to-repair statutes, which make them accessible only to a select few tradesmen.

Expensive To Repair

If the DOJ and the Trade Commission are successful in their effort, McDonald’s franchise owners will have the opportunity to hire just about any capable handyman to ensure their machines are running up to code at all times, rendering the “ice cream machine broken” excuse null and void. Current right-to-repair laws regarding commercial ice cream machines reflect a $300 price tag for only 15 minutes of servicing, which makes repairing the machines a financial burden on chain operators everywhere.

An Evil Plan

michael keaton

According to figures on the net, a downed ice cream machine is even worse for McDonald’s upper management than it is for the average customer, with economists estimating that each McDonald’s location with an unserviced machine can lose up to $625 in profit per day. The machines employed by the global fast food chain are supplied by an equipment manufacturer headquartered in Rockton, Illinois, called Taylor Company. Taylor machines are designed to display absurd nonsense on their screens when they break, preventing average handymen from solving the costly problem on their own.

The Other Reason The Machines Are Broken

Unfortunately, there is another layer to the broken ice cream machines that plague McDonald’s locations across the world, which is unlikely to be helped by the DOJ. If you’ve ever had a personal friend who works at a McDonald’s location, you’re likely aware of the fact that employees will claim ice cream machines are broken as an easy out when they simply don’t want to clean them. This means that even in the best of times, McDonald’s customers may be prevented from indulging in the sugary dessert due to nothing more than employee lethargy.

McDonald’s Milkshakes Bring No One To The Yard

If the DOJ and the Trade Commission really want to make a difference to the American people, they should petition Taylor Swift to simplify their machines so that cleaning them isn’t such a hassle (because she can “Shake it Off”….get it?). Though if right-to-repair laws can make McDonald’s ice cream machines easier and more cost-effective to fix, that’s certainly a major step in the right direction. With the presidential election lurking just around the corner, consumers can likely look to one ice-cream-loving incumbent president as the source of this push.