After a long, bumpy road to the big screen, the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is almost here. And the early word is…not good. That doesn’t really surprise us, as this thing has had the stink of road kill about it damn near from the moment it was first announced. There was the early script leak that suggested the Turtles had been re-imagined as space aliens. There’s the on-going war of words between Turtles co-creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, arguing the merits of the new movie, or lack thereof. And then there was the redesign of the Turtles themselves, which reads less “turtle” and more “Shrek.” At this point, if you’re still excited about TMNT, well, there’s probably very little we can say to dissuade you. So instead we’ll just share this big-ass gallery of pics from the movie and wish you well. But are you sure we can’t convince you to just go see Guardians of the Galaxy again?
In spite of the ominous Bay name looming in the credits, this latest big-screen iteration of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was actually directed by Jonathan Liebesman, whose back catalog includes such forgettable flicks as Wrath of the Titans, Battle: Los Angeles, and Darkness Falls. The titular mutated and ninja-skilled siblings are played by Pete Ploszek (Leonardo), Alan Ritchson (Raphael), Noel Fisher (Michelangelo), and Jeremy Howard (Donatello) — although Leo’s voice was actually provided by once-and-future Jackass Johnny Knoxville. Tony Shalhoub voiced Splinter, and on the human side of the equation we’ve got Megan Fox staring blankly as April O’Neil, Will Arnett collecting a paycheck as April’s cameraman, and William Fichtner hopefully chewing some scenery as a scientist involved in the creation of the Turtles. (He also seems to be working with Shredder, based on the trailers I’ve been doing my best to scour from my memory.)
Check out a mess of Turtle pics below, courtesy of Collider. They’re certainly colorful at least. Cowabunga?