The world of straight to streaming movies is a confusing one because sometimes there are some secret gems hidden beneath the crusty exterior of low-budget background fodder. We’re not here to talk about one of those movies, however, but rather Amityville Death Toilet, which can currently be streamed on Tubi.
Though the only thing that this movie has in common with The Amityville Horror is its title, it’s still frightening to think about because death will come for you when you least expect it, and there’s nothing worse than being caught with your pants down.
There are only two primary characters in Amityville Death Toilet: Mayor Dump, and Gregg G. Allin.
Amityville Death Toilet is just one out of dozens of movies borrowing the Amityville name to grab a viewer’s attention, and it’s for good reason. The simple fact of the matter is that actual town names cannot be trademarked, and aspiring filmmakers can ride on the coattails of a more successful property by boasting a similar title.
So when somebody wants to look up The Amityville Horror on streaming, they’ll be bombarded with a number of titles for B, C, and even D movies that make you wonder how they got funding while simultaneously admiring the absolute audacity.
There are only two primary characters in Amityville Death Toilet: Mayor Dump, and Gregg G. Allin. Mayor Dump can only be described as a man who looks like a bargain bin Michael McKean doing his worst Donald Trump impression, and Gregg G. Allen is obviously inspired by the punk-rocker who was known for throwing a certain kind of foreign object around on stage.
After an outbreak of toilet related murders in the town of Amityville, Mayor Dump calls aspiring paranormal investigator Gregg G. Allin to visit the house.
The premise for Amityville Death Toilet is a simple one, and leaves very little to the imagination. After an outbreak of toilet related murders in the town of Amityville, Mayor Dump calls aspiring paranormal investigator Gregg G. Allin to visit the house. But since this is an emergency call, Allin has limited resources as he tries to investigate the possessed porcelain punisher’s insatiable lust for murder.
The story is fully established when Dump calls Allin because he’s worried that the toilet murders will adversely affect tourism to the town of Amityville. Allin, who has 199 followers online, thinks that his investigation of the Amityville death toilet will be his big break, and finally get him 200 followers, so he’s up for the challenge.
Vowing to go deep into the bowels of the house, and get to the bottom of the haunting, Allin equips himself with his smartphone, and we’re presented with a found-footage video blog point of view as he tries to flush the demons out of the house.
You’ll never look at a toilet the same ever again after watching Amityville Death Toilet.
As for the actual antagonist, Amityville Death Toilet wastes no time letting the viewer know what kind of movie this is. The opening scenes involve a regular toilet bowl that literally has a butcher’s knife taped to the handle. While most of the movie’s run-time is making a nod to those ghost-hunting shows in which nothing is ever caught on camera, we don’t really see any more action until the third act.
Amityville Death Toilet’s third act is something that can only be described as a man running around a house screaming while running from Microsoft PowerPoint graphics. Not only does Allin find himself running from poorly rendered gargling zombies, a CGI Velociraptor, and even a giant shark, his whooping and hollering is what really seals the deal.
But what truly makes Amityville Death Toilet a masterpiece of bad cinema is the fact that the house doesn’t even look like the Amityville house, but rather an Airbnb located somewhere in Florida. In other words, you have to suspend just a little bit of disbelief while watching this low-budget horror-comedy.
As of this writing, Amityville Death Toilet has no ratings on Rotten Tomatoes.
You’ll never look at a toilet the same ever again after watching Amityville Death Toilet. You’ll never look at cinema the same ever again after watching Amityville Death Toilet. But still, this movie all but proves that if you’re a filmmaker with a vision, then anything is possible if you put your mind to it.
Amityville Death Toilet has an unintended message that should inspire you: never be afraid to follow your dreams. One day you’ll come up with a screenplay or manuscript, and people will try to discourage you from realizing your full potential. But this movie is living proof that if you believe in yourself, you can do amazing things.