You might not be able to tell from the hyper-sarcastic tone I take anytime the subject comes up, but I truly love it when people think they’ve discovered an animal that (for all intents and purposes) don’t exist. Not only do Loch Ness Monster sightings spice up the news cycle, but it causes critical thinkers to raise their voices above the insanity that is the rest of the Internet.
The latest sighting of Nessy comes from this photo, supposedly taken by a tourist…
A man from Southampton named Steve Challice claims he took the photo while on vacation at Loch Ness in Scotland. He was standing on the shore opposite Urquhart Castle on the banks of Loch Ness when the photo was taken. Steve tells the Daily Record he never thought he saw a Nessy, that he thought it was just some kind of 8-foot long catfish. When he posted the photos online it was only so he could get help identifying exactly what it was. It was then that people went nuts and started claiming this was proof the Loch Ness Monster exists.
Steve says of his encounter, “It was gone almost instantly so much so I wasn’t sure if I had got it or not. I guess it was something of a fluke shot. I waited about for a bit and took another image but didn’t see the fish again.”
This Loch Ness Monster photo hasn’t officially been debunked by scientists yet, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this is an obvious photoshop and not a real photo at all. It looks like one and Steve’s claim that he didn’t know what it could be is a little hard to buy, given that he was at Loch Ness and it’s hard to go there without thinking of the Loch Ness Monster.
Previous Loch Ness Monster Evidence
The last time a Loch Ness Monster craze happened it was because people went berserk over an image pulled from Apple Maps that was indisputable proof of the Loch Ness Monster… until it was easily disputed as something unrelated to the Loch Ness Monster.
The satellite shot of Loch Ness looks like a perfectly normal image, at least until you zoom in a bunch, making the weird wavy lines appear, signifying either small waves of some kind or the outline of one of the most popular mythological creatures in modern times. Which is more likely?
Glen Campbell, the founder and president of the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club, studied the pictures for months. He told ABC News that nobody had been able to figure out what was in the images, although he was sure it was “not a whale or a basking shark as some people claim, because they wouldn’t go in fresh water.” Strange how the people who say there are no answers are the ones who generally don’t listen to the right answers in the first place.
I don’t think I’m surprising anyone by saying that is definitely not the Loch Ness Monster in the Apple Maps photo. (Or any other photo.) What you’re seeing is actually just the wake from a speed boat. It can’t be seen in the shot due to the way mapping software overlays its images to create one cohesive grid.
Of course, this kind of easy explanation is always fuel for those who think all easy explanations are bullshit, and that anyone involved with the “real conspiracy” would be able to work photo software skillfully enough to fake the boat wake comparison. And to those people I say, “It actually was a boat, being driven by Bigfoot and Jimmy Hoffa.”
If you want to see a really good story with Nessie at its center, check out Zak Penn’s 2004 faux documentary Incident at Loch Ness, which stars iconic filmmaker Werner Herzog in a twisty look at legends, film, and reality, and the thin line that divides them all. Use Apple Maps to find a video store and go check it out.