We’ve all seen news stories about criminals, vandals, or a group of kids who not only did something illegal, but were stupid enough to film themselves doing it. That’s never a good idea, because as we know in this day and age, nothing stays secret for long. The real geniuses out there post the videos online, you know, because they’re super smart. Those are the ones who are always the most shocked to get caught. Most of the time you’re glad these dumbasses filmed themselves, if only because it makes us feel good to laugh at morons. This new footage that has come to light, however, will make you glad these outlaws recorded themselves, not because of some smug sense of superiority, but because it’s totally awesome. What these Star Trek fans did in 1988 was break into the set of The Next Generation and film themselves din the process.
On the night of March 10, 1988, at least two rabid Trek fans found their way onto the TNG set on the Paramount Studios lot after hours. Talk about kids in a candy store. Haven’t we all fantasized about wandering around the sets for one of our favorite shows or movies, twisting knobs, sitting in chairs, knocking over a sickbay bed?
There are a number of reasons why this video is a damn good time. For starters, their level of incompetence is off the charts. You have to wonder how in the hell they ever managed to pull this off in the first place. It’s like watching a slapstick vaudeville routine and you keep waiting for the punch line, but it looks legit. Maybe they have a buddy that works security, otherwise it’s hard to imagine “Captain Stone” and his partner in crime being all that stealthy or well versed in breaking and entering. I wonder if they had someone on the outside waiting to bail them out if need be?
It also appears that these two budding burglars are in the process of making some sort of documentary. There are various takes, introductions, and they proceed to give you a guided tour of the set, at the same time as they discuss the best way to steal parts of it to add to their own collections. Their running commentary is priceless, like when “Stone” tells his director of photography to take the camera off the tripod because it’s “a piece of shit.”
Hands down my favorite bit of this has to be the fact that they dressed like cast members, wearing their very own improvised Trek uniforms. That right there seals the deal, especially when you realize that you can see the “Captain’s” white socks. These may not be the greatest, most notorious criminals in the known world, but they’re certainly my favorite now. They do have to stop and ask themselves, what would Picard do?