Bonus Round: Two More Obvious Choices
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Okay, so this one sort of gives itself away, but we simply had to include it. With a name like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, you know you’re on the right track. In reality, this 1964 sci-fi holiday movie isn’t very good. That much is probably obvious from the sheer number of worst-movies-ever lists it appears on. That said, what a concept! The film delivers exactly what the title promises, a jolly fat man in a red suit battling it out aliens. Why, you may ask? For the kids, that’s why. See, Santa doesn’t just care about the young here on Earth. Oh no, he’s universal, and when the children of Mars need saving from their strict, overbearing parents, who better to help out than old Saint Nick? Maybe you should watch it with the RiffTrax on. Cinematic Titanic and MST3K have also had their way with the film, so you have options. Do yourself a favor, if you do decide this is the movie for you, watch one of these versions, I’d hate to be responsible for ruining your holiday cheer. Watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians on Netflix!
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
It’s true that Jalmari Helander’s 2010 Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is probably more horror than it is science fiction or fantasy, but it’s so damn much twisted holiday fun that we had to include it on this list. And it does at least involve a scientist, he’s the one who orders Santa’s grave to be excavated, thus dooming a bunch of unsuspecting Finns to rather unpleasant fates. This may be a tenuous connection, but we’ll take it. People need to learn that no good will come from disturbing an old grave, none at all. The basis for the original Santa Claus myth, this particular incarnation is more on the side of punishing the naughty children rather than rewarding those who behave, and in this day and age, there’s way more naughty than nice. Rare Exports certainly isn’t the first holiday slasher, but it is wildly original, and more than a little insane, and doesn’t that sound like one hell of a way to celebrate Christmas? Watch Rare Exports on Netflix!