I’ve never parked my multi-billion-dollar spaceship underwater before, and even if I did, I have no idea how I’d get it out. But assuming I could, how on earth (or wherever) would I be able to stop the damned thing from rusting? Turns out the Japanese company Kure has a solution with their rust-prevention lubricant Kure 5-56, as seen in a recent advertisement where their spokesman enters the Star Trek universe and talks about how their product can get the job done. At least I assume that’s what he’s saying. Considering it’s a Japanese commercial, this may very well be a milk commercial, or maybe this guy is running for local government.
The ad was timed to coincide with the Japanese theatrical release of Star Trek Into Darkness, which came out there a little over a month ago. It’s a great-looking ad, using several clips from the film. Something I wasn’t aware of before: American commercials need more dubbed Simon Pegg in them.
The real money shot happens after the spokesman takes his diving helmet off to reveal Vulcan ears. He lubes up Kirk’s captain’s chair by just spraying that shit all over it, instead of anywhere on the chair that lubrication would do anything. Seems like Kirk would just slip right off and hurt himself, and then Spock would probably try and take over. Which is why he got together with his little Asian Vulcan cousin to hop on board the ship and make sure Kirk gets injured. We have seen the conspiracy, people!
As it happens, Star Trek isn’t the only sci-fi property that Kure latched onto for this ad campaign. Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise also gets sprayed down. Check out that clip below.
While I’m not much of a Transformers fan, this may be my favorite commercial of the year so far. You say you’ve got a great car that just so happens to be in really terrible condition? Just put some rust spray on it and it will turn into Bumblebee, to the ridiculously extravagant surprise of the mechanic. His unwavering take is classic. I want to hire him to be with me solely for situations in which someone tells me something surprising.
Big thanks to Kotaku for making the GIF below.
If you’ve got a rusty droid or malevolently sentient computer, now you know what to do with it.