Stephen King Horror Comedy Filled With Murders Keeps You Laughing, Stream Without Netflix
The one thing I love about the streaming era is that there is a movie for everything no matter what time of day you tune in. You can go on a deeply philosophical adventure set in outer space, or enjoy a slow-burn drama that will make you think about your own relationships because it resonates so strongly with you. Or, in the case of You Can’t Kill Stephen King, you can just sit back and be entertained by mindless gore as a bunch of attractive co-eds get slaughtered in the woods by a murderer who may or may not be Stephen King.
A Hilarious Horror
Stephen King fan lore is as fascinating as it is ridiculous, and I’m here for all of it. While the most insane theory I’ve heard over the years is that the famed horror author is actually responsible for the murder of John Lennon (Google it if you don’t believe me), You Can’t Kill Stephen King is a work of fiction that’s just meant to have some good old fashioned slasher fun.
While this horror comedy is deliberately bad, it still had a number of laugh-out-loud moments that caught me off guard in a way that I haven’t seen since I watched Dude Bro Party Massacre III, which is also deliberately awful.
The Victims
In its effort to parody every single horror trope known to man, You Can’t Kill Stephen King centers on a group of twenty-somethings traveling to Maine because Monroe (Monroe Mann) and Hilary (Crystal Arnette) inherited a secluded lake cabin.
If you look at the credits, you’ll notice that the brother and sister share the last name Bachman, which is a nod to the author’s pseudonym, Richard Bachman. Monroe is constantly on edge because he’s a shell-shocked Iraq veteran who’s triggered by loud music, and Hilary doesn’t seem to enjoy any form of fun.
Joining Monroe and Hilary are Lamont, Nicole, and Monroe’s domineering girlfriend, Lori. Against everybody’s wishes, Monroe also invites his childhood friend, Ronnie, on the trip, which immediately generates tension in You Can’t Kill Stephen King because Ronnie is a die-hard Stephen King Junkie and also a pervert.
King Super Fan
Ronnie is beyond thrilled in You Can’t Kill Stephen King because the cabin they’re staying at isn’t too far off from where his idol lives, and he wants to meet him before the weekend is over. However, all of the townsfolk are unwelcoming and insist that Stephen King has not lived in the area for years.
From this point forward, You Can’t Kill Stephen King becomes the slasher comedy you’d expect it to be, but with a twist. Every single kill appears to be inspired by a death found in a Stephen King Novel.
Ronnie always conveniently disappears right before somebody else goes missing, and the group of friends have reason to believe that he’s living out some sort of twisted fantasy.
Wonderfully Dumb
Ronnie insists that he’s just sneaking off to peep on the girls while they’re going to the bathroom and that he’s innocent, and his story mostly checks out.
If you haven’t picked up on it yet, You Can’t Kill Stephen King is an incredibly dumb movie, but you shouldn’t go into watching a film like this expecting Friday the 13th either. Even though this movie is adequately acted, the dialogue is intentionally stilted to drive its humor home.
My favorite exchange is when Ronnie simply replies “okay,” to Monroe after being asked to bury somebody who was just moments before beaten to death with hammer.
Stream It Now
GFR SCORE
You Can’t Kill Stephen King is not a good movie, but it’s not supposed to be. To rate this movie fairly, I’m going to give it a two-star rating for overall quality against a four-star rating for its inherent entertainment value. Averaging those scores out, we land in three-star territory, which seems about right.
You can stream You Can’t Kill Stephen King for free on Tubi as of this writing. If this kind of movie is the vibe you’re going for, you’ll thoroughly enjoy it. If you’re looking for something a little more high-brow, however, you won’t find it here.
