Marvel Killed Mary Jane In The Darkest Spider-Man Story Ever, Her Death Is Too Awful To Imagine
If you’re a comic book fan, chances are you’ve read The Dark Knight Returns at least once. You may have even wondered, “Why hasn’t Marvel ever done their own version of DKR?” It turns out that they did, but the only thing anyone ever remembers from it is Mary Jane getting cancer from Peter’s radioactive semen.
No. Seriously. Spider-Man: Reign features an elderly version of Peter Parker, who mourns his dead wife whom he accidentally irradiated with his…um…webshooter.
Spider-Man’s Origin Is Usually Because Of Radiation
There are several versions of Spider-Man’s origin, and many differ as to what exactly happened to the spider before it bit him. The original and most common origin, however, is that the spider was blasted with some kind of radiation. Fans of the ’90s Spider-Man cartoon will remember the lyrics, “Spider blood, spider blood, radioactive spider blood…”
Spider-Man: Reign Is A Tragic Alternate Future
What Spider-Man: Reign suggests is that all of Peter’s bodily fluids are radioactive, not just his blood. The book isn’t exactly subtle or ambiguous about how Mary Jane died, either. Peter’s exact words are, “The doctors didn’t understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned with radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer. I did. I was…I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood, every fluid. Touching me…Loving me…”
Ew.
An Attempt To Copy The Dark Knight Returns
It’s almost as if Spider-Man: Reign writer Kaare Andrews read Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns with its dystopian future Gotham overrun by a gang called the Mutants, whose cannibal leader literally eats the Mayor and said, “What if we made it darker?” The problem is that Spider-Man isn’t Batman.
Peter And Mary Jane Denied A Happy Ending
DKR works because Batman is usually portrayed as a much darker character than the more happy-go-lucky Peter Parker. Something like the Joker killing Robin, while tragic, fits Batman’s darker universe. On the other hand, Peter Parker accidentally killing his beloved wife in the slowest, most excruciating way possible is just cruel.
With Great Power Comes Tremondous Guilt
Peter Parker is already burdened by the guilt that comes from his Spider-Man persona, causing his family and friends trouble. The death of Gwen Stacy alone weighs on his conscience so much that he can barely carry on. To have his Spider-Man identity be the cause of Mary Jane’s death in Spider-Man: Reign is tragic, but to have her demise come not from external forces but directly from Peter himself? That’s like the rotten cherry on top of a sh*t sundae.
Spider-Man Is Haunted By His Guilt
We don’t know enough about what went on behind the scenes of Spider-Man: Reign to determine if Kaare Andrews secretly hates Spider-Man as a character, but it definitely wouldn’t surprise us. Throughout the mini-series, Peter is haunted by hallucinations of Mary Jane brought on by his extreme guilt. We’re surprised he didn’t hang himself by his webs.
Spider-Man: Reign 2 Is Coming This Year
The rest of Spider-Man: Reign is barely worth talking about. It’s a carbon copy of The Dark Knight Returns down to a similar art style. A sequel to Reign is set to be released this year and we’re not exactly super excited.
A Fun Fact About Spider-Man
What grotesquely macabre shenanigans does Kaare Andrews have in store for us this time? Will we find out that Aunt May died after washing Peter’s stiff socks for years? Whatever horrors the sequel to Spider-Man: Reign has in store for fans, we’ll be here to tell you all about it because if we have to suffer with the knowledge that Peter Parker shoots nuclear sperm, so do you.
