Oreo Cream-Removal Machine Surprisingly Not Built By Nazis

By Nick Venable | 8 years ago

When it comes to cookies, I’m well past my Oreos stage for whatever reason. I’d much rather the indelicate flavors of a peanut butter oatmeal cookie. Or a white chocolate macadamia nut. Or Biscotti. Dammit, why did I start writing this story on an empty stomach? Ginger snaps!

Inspired by Nabisco’s recent “Cookies vs. Cream” advertising campaign that allows people to vote for their preferred Oreo counterpart, physicist/copyrighter David Neevel called upon his inner Wayne Szalinski in order to build the Oreo Separator Machine (OSM), a mechanical cream remover that doesn’t need your grubby mitts mucking things up. You say impractical, I say one of Neevel’s suggested catchphrases: “Let’s get that cream outta there!” Watch the overly complicated contraption in action below.

Once he got to the deadpanned line, “I’ve been working on my machine now for, uh, about 0.4 years. Wait, 0.04 years,” I started wondering why David Neevel doesn’t have his own television show by now. He mixes the self-sufficient, fuck-it-all attitude of Parks and Recreation‘s Ron Swanson with the creative know-how of MythBusters‘ Jamie Hyneman, and his desert-dry wit is a balance of the two. Maybe next he can channel David Blaine (by shoving his head up his ass) and show us how to take the peanut out of an M&M without breaking the shell.

I wasn’t a fan of the cream even when I did chow down on Oreos, due to the strange level of sweetness that never quite meshed with anything outside that particular chocolate. However, I could crush the cookies themselves over ice cream any day of the week. So I nominate this device to be the Best Cookie Modifying Machine ever. Now if only he could figure out a way to make a power source out of discarded cream.

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