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James Earl Jones voicing Darth Vader is one of the most iconic pieces of cinematic science fiction history. That booming voice makes the character; without it, he loses some of the luster, not to mention the intimidation factor. Now you may think that you’ve seen every conceivable overdub of Vader—including with dialogue from non-Star Wars James Earl Jones movies—but what if, in some alternate dimension, Darth Vader was voiced by Arnold Schwarzenegger? That scenario might look a little something like this video.
While this kind of thing is generally played out, this is actually pretty damn funny. Sure, the former governor of California’s voice would have made Vader much less ominous, but that angry Austrian accent would have made the character intimidating in an entirely new and different way.
What if Darth Vader really did implore you to “stop being such a pussy?” You’d certainly give it the old college try, wouldn’t you? Otherwise he might press you over his head and body-slam you into the concrete. And when he yells, “There is no bathroom!” you suddenly don’t have to go as bad as you did a minute ago.
All of Schwarzenegger’s most memorable films are represented in this compilation. There’s Predator, Terminator 2, and, of course, Kindergarten Cop. The line “Who is my daddy, and what does he do?” will never not be funny, no matter the context.
They did, however, leave out my personal favorite Schwarzenegger line, from Commando: “Remember when I said I’d kill you last? I lied.” I don’t know where they would have fit that into Vader’s canon, but still, it would have been nice to see.