Any science junkie or science fiction fan such as myself knows that space is a dangerous place. You’ve got hard vacuum, you’ve got radiation, you’ve got micrometeorites, you’ve got the occasional facehugger. There are countless dangers to surmount if we are to pursue our destiny and spread beyond the cradle of Earth. But one thing you might not realize is that space is so dangerous that even just making a movie about it can have deadly consequences. For instance, all of those ions! Floating around, everywhere! Don’t worry, though, Simon Pegg has just the thing to keep you safe: “neutron cream.”
If you watched much of the press the cast did while promoting the release of Star Trek Into Darkness earlier this year, there’s a good chance you heard one of them telling stories about “neutron cream.” Simon Pegg, in particular, couldn’t shut up about it, because the so-called “neutron cream” was at the heart of an on-set prank that managed to con damn near the entire main cast into walking around like idiots with dollops of cream on their faces, thinking they were protecting themselves from “dangerous ions” that they could be exposed to while filming.
Thankfully footage of the prank has hit the net, as seen above. It suggests that either 1) Simon Pegg can be really damn convincing when he tries, or 2) actors are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Or bat’leths in the armory, or whatever the Star Trek equivalent is.
It’s hilarious to watch the “neutron cream” spread like a virus, with each humiliated mark then gleefully pitching in to help con the next. Kudos also to Pegg and company for coming up with multiple ways to reveal the dirty dealings to each successive crew member. Tipping John Cho and Eric Bana off via cue cards is good fun, but mocking up a fake legal waiver for Benedict Cumberbatch to sign was taking things to a next, brilliant level. Just be careful, though…I hear that guy has a temper.
I think we can all learn an important lesson from this. Do not trust Simon Pegg. I kind of feel like that’s a lesson that anybody who has ever met, heard of, or watched an interview with Simon Pegg would already assume from the get-go, but maybe actors are just an inherently trusting sort. And by “trusting,” I of course mean “gullible.”
To boldly punk, where no man has punked before…