Remember that scene in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure where Bob “Genghis” Khan totally ravages Oshman’s Sporting Goods? That actually happened, only it was in a Toys R Us and it wasn’t a recently kidnapped Ghengis Khan but some random guy with a lightsaber.
It happened in Portland, Oregon on December 14 when 33-year-old David Allen Canterbury totally decided to dual wield in the Jantzen Beach store. Reports say he swung his lightsabers, one in each hand, at customers inside the Toys R Us before going outside to confront police. Officers attempted to subdue him using a Tazer, but of course this guy is a Jedi, so he was able to deflect at least one of the Tazer wires away with his sabers.
Police eventually had to resort to old fashioned wrestling, so they tackled Canterbury to the ground and hauled him away. Canterbury has now been sentenced to 45-days in jail and is already seeking mental health treatment.
I’ve shopped at this Toys R’ Us so I know that it’s one of those Toys R’ Us/Babys R’ Us combo stores, which means at any given hour it’s full to the brim with pregnant women and babies whom you probably don’t want in the line of fire when a Sith goes crazy in your local diaper store. Luckily, it sounds like no one was hurt and the would be Jedi is getting the help he needs. Harmless fun all around. Genghis Khan would be proud.