This Killer Robot Isn’t Nearly As Intimidating Once You’ve Seen It Fall On Its Face

By Brent McKnight | Published

This article is more than 2 years old

If you read this site on a regular basis, there’s a decent chance that you’ve spent more time than most people preparing for the eventual robot takeover. Perhaps you stockpile canned food, weapons, and EMP devices in your secret underground bunker that you dug out yourself in your backyard so it doesn’t show up on any schematics that the machines could get their grubby alloy mitts on. Then again, you could be one of those turncoats who welcomes your new robotic overlords with open arms and sells out your own species. Either way, or something in the middle, it’s starting to look like our impending doom at the hands of our own artificially intelligent creations may be a bit farther off than some of us assumed. As proof we offer up this video of a killer robot’s evil plan being foiled that most unexpected of obstacles, random crap strewn about the floor.

A while back the world met Atlas, DARPA’s terrifying humanoid robot, and we all let out a collective groan of, “well, it’s been a nice run, humanity.” We assumed that this would track us all down and slaughter us wholesale in short order, or perhaps harvest random bits of nerve and tissue to further augment their own synthetic bodies. We may have jumped the gun on proclaiming our doom just a bit, as this new video shows that Atlas has one, minor weakness, an total inability to navigate anything other than smooth, flat surfaces.

Even when it first starts out, trying to walk over a few stray two-by-fours and what appear to be Styrofoam packing peanuts, Atlas’ base is far from sturdy. Little mechanical guy has some balance issues to work out. Eventually, as you can see, he bites it, totally wiping out. Ha ha, stupid robot, thinks it’s gonna come kill us all and can’t even step over a board. Now you know, if you see a whole herd of these guys coming after you, all you have to do is scatter some stray junk in their way, and they’ll be totally helpless. It doesn’t help the effectiveness any that Atlas still has to be tethered to safety harness, like a spastic kid to his mother.

In reality this is just a delay in the inevitable. Eventually some scientist is going to figure out a way to overcome both of these handicaps, and Atlas will become the full fledged killing machine it was always destined to be. Thanks, science, you’ve doomed us all, again. Way to go, dick. So enjoy these last few robot free days, for you never know when the end may stomp down your street, red eyes glowing, a chant of “crush, kill, destroy” carrying on the breeze.