The Unbelievable All-Star Drama You Have To See To Believe, Stream Without Netflix
Tiptoes is a movie that’s so problematic, nonsensical, and ridiculous that you’ll wonder how it was made in the first place. The theatrical cut was so off the mark that writer-director Matthew Bright pushed to get his name removed from the project, which is why the movie is said to have been written by Bill Weiner instead. Since Bright wasn’t a member of the Director’s Guild, he’s still credited as director even though he wants nothing to do with the movie that he said ruined his career.
No One Can Explain Why Tiptoes Was Made
I don’t know how to start describing Tiptoes because this movie has so much going on, and none of it makes sense. Matthew McConaughey, a man who’s six feet tall, plays a “dwarf” named Steven Bedalia. Despite Steve’s stature, he comes from a family of little people, which is something he’d rather keep a secret from his girlfriend, Carol (Kate Beckinsale). When Carol reveals to Steven she’s pregnant, Steven realizes, to his horror, that he has to come clean and explain to her that he’s the only tall person in his family.
Tiptoes is a drama.
Gary Oldman’s Worst Role
Meanwhile, we’re introduced to Gary Oldman’s Rolfe Bedalia, Steven’s twin brother. Gary Oldman, a man who’s nearly as tall as Matthew McConaughey in real life, portrays a dwarf by walking around on his knees while wearing prosthetics to hide his actual legs. If you can’t come up with why Tiptoes is a problematic movie, you should have by now.
Peter Dinklage Deserves Better
Rolfe’s best friend, Maurice (Peter Dinklage), is a drunken French Marxist who causes trouble wherever he goes and is emotionally abusive to his girlfriend, Lucy (Patricia Arquette). Rolfe and Maurice are often at odds with Steven, who is so upset over the fact that Carol may give birth to a dwarf that he decides to leave her because he can’t cope with the truth of his perceived genetic inferiority.
Tiptoes continues to be a movie that makes you say, “what the hell am I actually watching?”
From Supposed Comedy To Alleged Drama
According to Matthew Bright, Tiptoes was originally supposed to be a raunchy slap-stick comedy, and his cut of the movie was supposed to be 150 minutes long. The 90-minute official release cut is meant to be a drama, but I don’t understand how. Tiptoes isn’t funny or dramatic, but rather a movie that is so offensive in every conceivable way that you have to see it to believe it.
Even Bad Movie Fans Should Stay Away
As somebody who seeks out bad movies for their inherent entertainment value, I have to say that Tiptoes is a movie that doesn’t have any redeeming qualities. But I’d also be lying if I said that I didn’t spit out my drink when Matthew McConaughey’s Steven yells, “I’m a dwarf!” while having an epic end-of-the-relationship kind of argument with Kate Beckinsale’s Carol, who is carrying his child.
Streaming For Free (Don’t Pay For It)
REVIEW SCORE
Tiptoes is an extremely misguided movie that lacks both comedic and dramatic timing. But it’s still an interesting watch because it involves a high level of acting talent reduced to making tasteless attempts at humor in the context of a serious drama.
If you’re still interested in watching Tiptoes, you can stream this dumpster fire of a movie for free on Amazon Prime’s Freevee. You can also rent the title on-demand through Amazon Prime Video, Google Play, and Apple TV+.
