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Go Inside The Collector’s Lair In This Guardians Of The Galaxy Blu-Ray Feature

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As Marvel’s space adventure Guardians of the Galaxy continues to roll through theaters worldwide, we’re preparing for the home release. The makeshift band of space outlaws-turned-heroes hits the digital market November 18, while it drops on DVD and Blu-ray on December 9. Over the last few days we’ve seen sneak peeks at various bonus features that will accompany these discs, and today we’ve got one more.

Taneleer Tivan, also known as the Collector, is an interesting character in the Marvel universe. With his fingers in a lot of storylines, he’s definitely not a hero, but he’s not exactly a villain either. In front of a coming catastrophe, he collects everything he can get his hands on in order to preserve them. Benicio Del Toro, who plays him onscreen, compares him to Noah, ultimately with an altruistic end, though with means that may be less than ethical on occasion.

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Guardians Of The Galaxy: Watch Chris Pratt Dance In These Two Blu-Ray Extras

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Marvel’s mega hit Guardians of the Galaxy is still bouncing around theaters, delighting audiences all over the globe with its swashbuckling action style and sarcastic sense of humor. It’ll still very likely be there by the time the space adventure hits the home video market in a few weeks. Dropping digitally first on November 18, it hits physical media on December 9. Yesterday director James Gunn shared a fun 8-bit rendering of an early sequence of the film that will appear on the Blu-ray, and today we’ve got a glimpse at two more behind the scenes extras from the disc.

The first video is essentially Gunn giving you a guided tour through one of the early scenes, where Chris Pratt’s Peter Quill, aka Star-Lord, dances his way across the planet Morag to the sounds of Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit in the Sky.” The point of this featurette is to emphasize the role that music and the soundtrack play in Guardians.

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Gets The 8-Bit Treatment In This Blu-Ray Preview

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Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy is currently the second highest grossing movie of the year worldwide (it’s number one domestically), closing in on $770 million. That’s only going to increase as the film hits the home market, first digitally in a couple of weeks on November 18, and then December 9 on DVD and Blu-ray. Director James Gunn has been all over social media with this thing since the beginning, and now he’s given us a sneak peek at one of the awesome bonus features you can get your hands on with a physical copy.

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James Gunn Has Big Plans For Guardians Of The Galaxy 2 And Beyond, Details Here

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GuardiansLineupWith the ongoing expansion of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, there is a lot for fans to be excited over the next few years. With that massive Phase 3 announcement a while back, it’s even more exciting for sci-fi fans as the Avengers are going to go to space with the Infinity Wars. That should be a blast. Still, the title we’re most amped for, at least right now, has to be Guardians of the Galaxy 2. While we still have a few years to wait for that—though it did get bumped up a bit to May 5, 2017—director James Gunn already has big plans.

Gunn was at the Tokyo International Film Festival recently, and while talking to The Playlist, he offered up some tidbits about where the mismatched misfit crew of Star-Lord (Chris Pratt), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista), Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper), and Groot (Vin Diesel) may be headed.

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The Guardians Of The Galaxy Porn Parody Will Show You 50 Shades Of Groot

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ShirtlessThe marketing campaign for The Social Network taught us that you don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies. Similarly, you don’t get to a $750 million worldwide box office without somebody greenlighting a porn parody of you. Such is the fate of Guardians of the Galaxy, which will enter a club of previously pornified genre favorites such as Doctor Who (Doctor Whore), Game of Thrones (Game of Bones), and oh-sweet-mercy-my-eyes the Simpsons porn. Try not to prematurely order when I tell you this epic piece of cinema will be entitled Gnardians of the Galaxy: 50 Shades of Groot.

And thus, in one fell swoop, did 50 Shades of Grey justify its existence.

50 Shades of Groot will burst into existence courtesy of the hard-working men and women of WoodRocket (NSFW — like, at all), and the fact that it’s called WoodRocket and it’s making a Guardians of the Galaxy porn parody is so perfect that I want to cry. Also, if there isn’t an even-filthier version of this shot somewhere in the movie, I will eat my hat. And I don’t even own a hat. I will buy a hat just so I can eat it.

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I have so many questions. Just how much more phallic can Ronan’s “giant hammer” become? Will they finally bring a blacklight into Star-Lord’s ship? Will they come up with a better porn name for Rocket than Pocket Rocket? I don’t even want to think about how Rocket’s love for comically enormous weaponry will transfer over into the porn world. Also, is sex with a mutilated space raccoon going to be a bridge too far for today’s discerning porn connoisseur?

Here’s the stellar press release from WoodRocket:

Prepare to spread your orbs, whip out your infinity stones, and get hooked on a feeling, because WoodRocket.com is going into production on the Guardians of the Galaxy adult parody, Gnardians of the Galaxy: 50 Shades of Groot.

Being brought to you by the website that gave you Bob’s Boners, Game of Bones, and Orgy of Bill Murrays, Gnardians of the Galaxy: 50 Shades of Groot is looking like it could be the most entertaining genital-filled super hero team sex spoof of all time!

Well, there’s the inevitable “hooked on a feeling” joke, one that I’m kind of irritated I didn’t come up with on my own before reading it. But I also love the fact that they wait just one damn second there did they just say “Orgy of Bill Murrays”?

Orgy. Of Bill Murrays.

Murray

don’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutit

That’s either one hell of a great name for a band or the new official collective term for more than one Bill Murray. Perhaps both.

Where were we? I’ve lost my rhythm.

Oh right, “genital-filled super hero team sex spoof.”

In honor of James Gunn’s Marvel movie masterpiece becoming the highest grossing film of 2014 domestically, and the recent announcement of the upcoming sequel, WoodRocket.com knew that now was the time to begin work on showing the world what real space genitals should look like.

Given that James Gunn’s resume includes a series of shorts (heh) called PG Porn, I’m sure he must be very proud.

There’s no word when 50 Shades of Groot might release, but I’m sure it’ll come sometime after it reaches completion. In the meantime, here is perhaps my favorite quote I’ve ever run on this website:

Gnardians of the Galaxy: 50 Shades of Groot will be written & directed by Lee Roy Myers. ‘I think that Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the greatest super hero movies of all time. I am very excited to add penetration,’ says Myers.

Yep, that’s it. That’s the apex of my career. Time for me to shut the lights off and lock up. It’s been fun.

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Marvel’s Phase 3 Includes Guardians Of The Galaxy 2 Updates, Inhumans, And More

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MarvelDisney has been working to expand the scope and breadth of their Star Wars universe, Warner Bros. and DC Comics have taken great strides laying out the roadmap for their properties, both TV and film, but when it comes to this kind of sprawling, everything-is-connected world building, you’re going to have to do something spectacular to unseat Marvel. Especially because they just upped their game yet again, announcing their plans for Phase 3 of their Cinematic Universe, and there’s quite a lot for sci-fi fans to start tenting our fingers about. This includes a new release date for Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (sooner rather than later), a two-part Avengers 3 that takes on the “Infinity War” arc, Captain Marvel, and the Inhumans.

The comic book studio just unleashed a landslide on the world, revealing titles and dates all the way into 2019. And this doesn’t even include the likes of Ant-Man and Avengers: Age of Ultron. And given that DC recently announced their own expansion plan, and reports and rumors that this Marvel event only just came together like a week ago, it’s easy to see this as a giant fuck you to their main rival.