The Jayne Hat Bra Will Show Fox Who’s In Command

By Nick Venable | Published 11 years ago

Burn the land and boil the sea. You can’t take the…the uhh…What was I singing? Was I singing? I thought I was singing.

Evolution exists both in science and in science fiction, friends, as the famed Jayne hats from Joss Whedon’s Firefly — or should I call it Fox’s Firefly, as to not offend anyone? — have appeared in tag-team mode, to make up what I have to assume is the most comfortable bra in the world. And since I’m a guy who can only appreciate the aesthetic value, I’m letting everyone know there isn’t an application process to hug me while wearing this bra. To brush aside any dangling modifiers in that last sentence, you are the one wearing this bra.

Let’s rehash the recent events that presumably led to this creation. Fox recently teamed up with a company called Ripple Junction to make licensed Jayne hats, presumably because they saw how well the fan-made hats were selling. They sent out cease and desists to put a stop to the sales of the Jayne hats. Or rather, the unlicensed sale of hats that are actually called Jayne hats. If you listen to Adam Baldwin tell it, they’re simply called “Adam Baldwin hats.”

Then one fan in particular got savvy with her sales, and she is far from alone. I’m sure if every third person in America started selling Jayne hats, Fox’s legal team wouldn’t be able to keep up. But it works out better for some people when they leave the hat part out altogether. Although this bra might look even better if whoever is wearing it put it on as a hat really quickly.

This story started out as a loving look at the creative use of breast coverings, and then it became something else entirely, because you people didn’t pay good money to hear me only talk about boobs. Wait, you didn’t pay to hear me ramble. Let’s see some bo…

(This article’s ending was ceased and desisted by us brains at Fox. Watch Fox shows cuz there good!)