For a bunch of incredibly intelligent, fancy-pants scientist types, the crew of Prometheus makes some really, really dumb choices in their search for the origins of the human race. This abundance of poor decision making, however, may not be entirely their fault. A new video posits that these folks were in fact trained in this process. Now you, too, can undergo the same exclusive preparation and education program as the likes of Dr. Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Dr. Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall Green).
It should go without saying that there are some potential spoilers in this video.
You’ll learn important lessons, like always put your face next every new alien species you encounter, poking an alien is a good way to learn if they’re friendly or not, and “goo is good without the D.” There is also an introduction to robot/human relations that could prove very useful. The entire educational program is based on a series of seven thoughtful rhymes, like “when in doubt, check it out.” Who knew that space exploration was so verse oriented? I guess that’s why so many scientists and explorers are so into poetry.
By using this deductive approach to scientific investigation you, like the characters in Ridley Scott’s latest epic science fiction feature, can get to the bottom of that most important question that has dogged mankind from the dawn of time: if aliens have two mouths, do they also have two buttholes?