Hopefully deep under alien makeup.
Here is today’s installment of the please-god-don’t-let-it-be-true Star Wars rumors: Tom Cruise could have a cameo in Episode VII. We’ll give you a minute to have a spastic meltdown that will likely frighten any children or pets that happen to be in your general vicinity, but when you calm down, we’ll get into the specifics.
The Mirror reports that the Minority Report star has been in London for a week, which, if you’re keeping tabs, is where Episode VII is currently filming at Pinewood Studios, or not filming, due to Harrison Ford’s broken leg. According to the article, Cruise has already met with members of the production staff, including director and writer J.J. Abrams himself, and the topic of discussion was trying to find a small role to fit Cruise into.
The pair do have a history, as Abrams directed Cruise in Mission: Impossible III, his first time at the helm of a feature length motion picture. But just because they’ve worked together in the past doesn’t necessarily mean this will come to pass, we hope.
How terrible would this be? And we like Cruise. Edge of Tomorrow is hands down one of our favorite movies of the summer, if not the year, but the idea of him popping up in the next Star Wars isn’t a good idea at all. They guy doesn’t like not being the center of attention, and we can’t envision a way that his presence wouldn’t be a huge distraction that totally pulls you out of the movie. Even if he appears in the background, like those E.T.s in the prequels, it would be a bump in the road. There’s going to be more than enough going on movie that we don’t need to be looking out for Tom Cruise to pop in, say hey, I’m Tom Cruise, and wander off.
There is one way, the only way that we can imagine this happening without it being a complete and total disaster. You may remember that Heather Langenkamp from Nightmare on Elm Street had a cameo in Abrams’ Star Trek Into Darkness. Langenkamp has become a notable make up and special effects artist in recent days, and she was so covered in prosthetics and costume that she was unrecognizable. If Abrams is down to do the same thing again, to have Cruise completely disguised and in the background somewhere, that could work. Maybe. The real question in this scenario is whether or not Cruise could put aside his legendary ego and fade into the background in this way.
Of all the various rumors and that have made the rounds concerning Episode VII, from potential villains to various plot points to casting, this is the one that we most seriously don’t want to be true. The very idea is enough to make us sigh and lose all hope.