War Of The Worlds: The True Story Mockuments The Great Alien Attack Of 1900

By Nick Venable | Published

This article is more than 2 years old

As you get older, you realize that many of the things that amazed you as a child weren’t necessarily delivered to your brain with all the facts intact. From Santa Claus to the cheese-constructed Moon, the world was full of mystery and excitement. I remember being baffled hearing about Americans going crazy after thinking Orson Welles’ radio play of H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds was up-to-date news. Then, of course, I grew up and read that those reports were highly hyperbolic.

But it appears the “real real” story made it to DVD recently with War of the Worlds: The True Story releasing from Pendragon Pictures. To be clear, this is a mockumentary, not an actual documentary. The first sign of what appears to be a wacky sense of humor is present in calling the film an “85th Academy Awards Oscar contender,” with a “For Your Consideration” page as well. Voters beware!

Directed by Timothy Hines, the guy who shit out an actual War of the Worlds film in 2005 that lasted almost three hours, this film’s narrative “assumes the world knows there was a war between Earth and Mars in the year 1900 and is presented as the eyewitness account of Bertie Wells, the last living survivor of the Earth/Mars War as he struggles to find his wife amidst the destruction of humankind at the hands of terrifying alien invaders.”

If you weren’t convinced already, the film has “cutting edge visual effects” that apparently insert the cast — which includes Jack Clay, Floyd Reichman, Jim Cissell, and Susan Goforth — into footage of battalion soldiers fighting and Golden Age movie stars. They’re also big on promoting the “ten story high, three-legged fighting machines.” These guys used a lot of Caps Lock in their descriptions.

I’m still waiting on that literary superteam with H.G. Wells and Jules Verne, but I guess this film was easier to make. Has anybody seen it? Let us know in the comments. Meanwhile, check out one of the shittiest (and therefore most intriguing) trailers I’ve ever seen in my life.