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This Roddy Piper Vs. Cthulhu Project Needs Your Money

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they liveThat thing you think is cooler than a short film about “Rowdy” Roddy Piper taking on Cthulhu? You’re way fucking off, my friend. The exclamation-heavy Portal to Hell!!! aims to pit the iconic pro wrestler against the legendary deity, and the filmmakers have taken to crowdfunding in order to raise the money to help create their horror-comedy. It’s only a short film, sadly, but I’m this concept hardly needs to be stretched to feature-length to destroy all of the worlds.

In Portal to Hell!!!, Piper will play the superintendent for an apartment building, a guy who likes simple things with simple solutions. His world takes a weird spin when two tenants inadvertently open up a portal to hell in the building’s basement. He heads down to take care of the problem and will presumably kick some supernatural ass. Cue the joke about bubblegum.

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Check Out These H.P. Lovecraft Characters As You’ve Never Seen Them Before

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h.p. lovecraftIt’s impossible to know what legendary author H.P. Lovecraft would have thought of the Internet had he lived to see it come into existence, or how he would have accepted the rampant admiration and works of written and visual art that pay him respect. (It’s quite possible he wouldn’t have been able to afford a broadband connection.) In any case, we’re pretty sure he would have had a hearty chuckle at the work of comic artist Patrick Dean, who created the “Underwhelming Lovecraft Monsters” webpage earlier this year, for which he has given some of Lovecraft’s most celebrated beasts and stories a more casual flair. You can leave your nightmares next to the thing on the doorstep.

Dean started out by simply putting Great Old Ones and other creatures in simple settings and situations. As you can see in the image above, which you can find on his site here, Dean’s version of Cthulhu doesn’t mind kicking back in a lawn chair, sipping on a cold drink while either spying on neighbors or bird watching. (What else does one do with binoculars these days?) The fact that it’s wearing a hat is the icing on the cake-thulhu.

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Lovecraft Film Festival & Cthulhu Con Uses Kickstarter To Shred The Fabric Of Reality

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cthulhuFrom April 11 through April 13, Portland, Oregon will once again turn into a hot spot for The Great Old Ones to get together and feast upon their followes. That’s right, it’s the 19th annual H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival & Cthulhu Con. Dubbed the “Year of the Witch,” part of the focus of this gathering will be on Lovecraft’s short story, “The Dreams of The Witch House.” This is the second year that founder Andrew Migliore has taken to Kickstarter in order to enlist fan’s help to make the festival better than ever.

And it looks like they’ll be doing just that, as the project has taken in over $17,200, a tidy some considering their original goal was $12,000. That doesn’t mean they’ve hit a ceiling and shouldn’t still be helped, however. They have a series of stretch goals being worked out, as well as a steady slew of reveals occurring as they bang out all the details. If you’re lucky enough to either live in Portland, or will be attending the festival this year, you can see that your money is going into the right hands, or tentacles.

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Eight Things We (Sorta) Hope Are Blocking The World’s Biggest Subterranean Drill

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BerthaThe Earth is truly a wonderful place, with many natural mysteries that tend to be more interesting than the plethora of faux mysteries concocted to bilk people’s belief systems and pocketbooks. We know that Area 51 is just an unofficial name for a U.S. air base, that the Bermuda Triangle isn’t responsible for supernatural disappearances, and that there are no gateways to Hell anywhere on the planet. But they’re all still interesting to consider, and the latest WTF occurrence involves a giant something-or-other known only as “The Object”, which is lying at least 50 feet beneath the surface of Seattle, Washington. It’s blocking the tunneling drill, “Bertha,” from continuing the underground highway its been making way for. We reportedly won’t know what The Object is until after the first of the year, so we thought it would be a great time to start a few conspiracy theories of our own as to what could be down there.

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Thirty-Foot Giant Squid Found In Spain

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giant squidWalter White may have broken bad, but nature is breaking big. From giant killer hornets to massive dino farts to the recent discovery of a Cthulhu-esque giant squid on the beaches of Spain. Hey, they’re nice beaches — maybe the squid was just trying to get a little sun.

Giant squids are a bit like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot — they’re fabled and feared, but with one important difference: they actually exist. Science and the internet say so, and now so do dozens of beachgoers in Cantabria, Spain who found more than driftwood and shells as they combed the sands.

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Cthulhu Lives! Inside of Termites!

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Who would have known that mankind’s demise could fit beneath a microscope? Well, anyone who ever believed that disease would be the thing to wipe out humanity. But this isn’t about a disease. This is about an otherworldly monster that will feast upon our souls and the very fabric of the universe itself! Or maybe just a little wood, if you’ve got some.

If you’ve ever wondered how termites were able to eat wood at such a steady rate, it’s because their stomachs contain gut microbes that assist in turning the wood into digestible sugars, and two of these little buggers now have the distinction of being named after the cosmic entity from sci-fi/horror writer H.P. Lovecraft. The University of British Columbia’s Erick James and his colleagues discovered the tiny, 10mm-long beings and noticed both of them to have heads covered with flagella; the larger of the two had a bundle of more than 20, while the smaller one only had five.

Cthulhu macrofasciculumque CREDIT: University of British Columbia

Cthulhu macrofasciculumque CREDIT: University of British Columbia

Cthulhu macrofasciculumque is what you can call that larger one now, and the smaller one has been named Cthylla microfasciculumque, though you might do better to call them Mr. and Mrs. if you see them in public. Let it be known that Cthylla wasn’t a Lovecraft creation, but was imagined up in the 1970s by Cthulhu Mythos writer Brian Lumley to be Cthulhu’s secret daughter. And while it’s great and all that such a unique homage was paid, it’s a very cool discovery in every other way as well.