If there’s one thing we learned from X-Men: Days of Future Past, it’s that our future depends on peacefully co-existing with whatever the next evolution of humanity is, even if it’s a gross warty guy with a six-foot tongue. If there’s two things we learned from X-Men: Days of Future Past, it’s that Jennifer Lawrence holds the key to our doom. Nevertheless, we have nothing to fear except fear itself, and also people who can shoot death rays out of their eyes, control the weather, or run amok inside our brain like a sugared-up toddler in a ball pit. Thankfully, Dorkly has provided the world with some comforting PSA posters to help ease you into a world where humanity’s limits are bounded only by Chris Claremont’s imagination. And I, for one, welcome our new mutant overlords.
I will confess: I snorted out loud at this next one. Poor Jubilee. Useless, useless Jubilee.
But hey, at least she isn’t suffering from Liefeld Syndrome. That poor bastard.
You can see the rest at Dorkly. But we’re not done with the mutant merriment, oh no. Because if you didn’t ever check out the sadly-now-cancelled Pete Holmes Show on TBS, then you missed out on some of my favorite comedy sketches of recent memory. See, Professor X is reevaluating the X-Men line-up, and it turns out there is a whole lot of dead weight. Can we talk about “everybody’s favorite X-Man,” Wolverine? Because he’s useless.
And then we have Cyclops, who seems way too casual about that whole “uncontrolable death beams from my eye sockets” thing.
Or Angel, who, on a team of people with amazing powers, can fly. Because he has big bird wings. Pete Holmes’ reaction at the 30-second mark is one of my very favorite things.
Nightcrawler must be our closer. “It was like a pterodactyl had perched on my shoulders.”