Whenever I go into my kitchen to get liquor — as all alcoholics-in-denial are wont to do between the hours of noon and…noon — all I’m doing is reaching up into a cabinet to grab a bottle. It’s the same cabinet where my wife and I keep the glassware that’s paired with boozy drinks, as well as food scales for some reason. There’s no pomp to the action, and no ceremony within the cabinet. It’s a good thing getting wall-eyed isn’t this boring.
Vancouver artist and wood mastermind Colin Johnson doesn’t have to worry about that, seeing as how he built his own steampunk-inspired wooden Star Wars AT-AT Walker liquor cabinet. (A cooler string of words will not be uttered today.) As a standalone item, it’s incredibly well-crafted piece of art that inspires different levels of unexplainable nostalgia, though I think the design of the wood panels is what does it. In any case, it isn’t just a piece of art. It’s as fully functional as a real AT-AT Walker, assuming that all real AT-AT Walkers do is hold liquor within them. I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve watched Star Wars, but I’m pretty sure I remember one of the Walkers acting like a St. Bernard, saving Luke Skywalker from freezing to death on Hoth by pulling a snifter of cognac from its side and pouring it down Luke’s throat. Did that not happen?
While I know I’d never be able to afford something like this even if it was for sale, I wish there was a smaller version where shot glasses and hotel mini-bottles could be kept. But you can be damned sure I’d keep my fandom in check, never keeping any of those Star Trek wines and beers in the same room. Just be careful how much you drink, or you might need this Walker to help you walk to bed.
Nobody needs more proof that Johnson is ridiculously talented, but how about a couple of big wooden robots to sway you, with a tentacled creature as the cherry on top?