From our hearts and from our hands, why doesn’t Universal Pictures understand our intentions? And those intentions, incidentally, are to force filmmakers into doing a bit of critical thinking before they blindly remake every single science fiction film from 1985-1995. What was that? No, you can wait your turn, Demolition Man.
Joel Silver’s Silver Pictures and Universal Pictures are tag-teaming to throw a script, a director, and a couple of stars into a blender pre-filled with lard. Then they’ll turn it on, the blender will break in the middle, and what will come out is a remake of John Hughes’ only embrace of a sci-fi narrative. Granted, it was also kind of a romantic comedy, but at least it didn’t have any preteens in it whose parents were completely unaware. Just Anthony Michael Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith as teens whose parents were completely unaware.
Redeeming quality: The screenplay will be written by writer/actor Michael Bacall, who wrote last year’s surprisingly hilarious reimagining of 21 Jump Street and the awesome adaptation of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. He got his break with the highly emotional drama Manic, which featured one of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s earliest stellar performances, and features Don Cheadle saying “motherfucker” every bit as badass as Samuel L. Jackson. Not sci-fi, but a really good movie nonetheless.
Anyway, Bacall is bringing the adult audiences into this movie, with an intentionally R-rated screenplay. Computer-generated boobs? Let’s hope so. Hell, maybe the male characters will be using a 3D printer for their female-creating needs. Or maybe it will be girls creating their dream guy. The options here are totally limitless…wait, I mean limited to one of two scenarios.
Let’s not forget that the USA network already adapted Weird Science into an enjoyable sitcom in the mid-1990s, and it featured Vanessa Angel, who I’ve always found to be worlds more attractive than the original film’s Kelly LeBrock. Too bad it’s not my dream girl being created. But then, people would wonder why she has all those tentacles…