It’s great that Star Trek: The Next Generation is getting spruced up for its Blu-ray release, what with the all-new special effects and the digital restoration and the frame-by-frame spit polish by a team of extra-slobbery former shoeshine men. But even with all those upgrades, The Next Generation is still very much of its time, and that time is 1987. I’m currently rewatching the series via Netflix. There are some amazing episodes, and there are a lot of less-than-amazing episodes, but two things are constant: 1) it looks like they’re flying through space inside a mall, and 2) the clothes…oh my, the clothes.
Now there’s an entire Tumblr blog dedicated to exploring the wondrous insanity that was The Next Generation‘s costuming and hair, and it will absolutely devour several hours of your time if you let it. Here’s the mission statement:
Charlie (@chozzles) and Anna (@ajlobster) are revisiting Star Trek: The Next Generation. In a big way. And we’ve noticed that the clothes on that show are AMAZING. And not just 1987 amazing, or 24th century amazing, but BOTH, SIMULTANEOUSLY. We celebrate those fashions here.
Honestly, Fashion It So (for such is it named) could just post images from the series with amusing captions and there would be plenty of entertainment potential. But Fashion It So has gone the extra mile by including hilarious running commentary for the episodes in between the self-incriminatory photographic evidence. Here are a couple of our favorite examples from their recent entries, both the pictures and their remarks. For the record, I laughed out loud at the line, “I think I see a doorbell on there!”
This is Marouk, the Acamarian…president? Prime Minister? Sovereign? She’s in charge, in any event, which should be obvious from her mastery of side-eye in this photo. Marouk is rocking a mustard that by all rights should look terrible on her with that skin tone, but she has used her diplomatic powers to wrest it into color submission. Also she has fashioned an elaborate brooch out of car parts and bullets.
The hair, seemingly the offspring of Sally Fields’ in Steel Magnolias and Richard Dean Anderson in everything, is just the tip of the sartorial iceberg, friends. This guy is working some kitchen-sink STYLE. Sashes for no reason! Snaps that go nowhere! Chain mail???? Tires!!!! I think I see a doorbell on there!
Is that Nic Cage? Doing a Stephen Baldwin impression? Also, grown man wearing a purple handkerchief. Hmm… a people that wear flowwy clothes and carry machine guns? What stereotype might we be indulging here?
Somewhere a Holiday Inn Express is missing its drapes The rest of her outfit, which matches the hat, obviously, starts with a shoulder cover that appears to have been constructed from a couple of those things you put over the arm of a couch to protect it.
There is oh, so much more over at Fashion It So, and you should bookmark it posthaste because we have a feeling you’ll be returning. Make it so!