Star Wars 3D Trailerized Into Something Horrible For Kids, They Saved Jar Jar For This

By Joshua Tyler | Updated

This article is more than 2 years old

We’ve been talking for a few months now about the notable absence of Jar Jar from the marketing materials of the upcoming Star Wars: The Phantom Menace 3D re-release. He wasn’t on any of the posters and he hasn’t really been in any of the trailers. Now we know why.

They were saving Jar Jar for this…

That horrible abortion is a trailer specially designed to market the Phantom Menace 3D re-release to kids. It also pretty much embodies everything everyone hates about the Star Wars prequels and conveniently ignores the fact that aside from Jar Jar’s poo jokes most of the plot revolves around kid-krptonite: boring trade negotiations.

Politics aside it’s hard not watch this and get just a little more cynical about the Star Wars universe. I know, until now you probably thought that wasn’t possible, but when it comes to Lucas never underestimate his ability to disappoint you.

For me the big question here is… are kids really this dumb? I understand showing a bunch of silly, wild footage in an attempt to bait children but are the youth of America so stupid that they need an annoying voice telling them what to think of everything they see as well? They can’t figure it out for themselves? I mean, this guy just never shuts up. Even kids can’t be that stupid.

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