Star Trek: The Next Generation Valentines Will Boldly Go Into Your Heart

By Brent McKnight | 8 years ago

Today is the day where, in elementary school, you were compelled to give everyone a Valentine so no one felt left out. You begrudgingly obliged with the mandate from on high, even though there was only one person you actually wanted to be your Valentine. This particular holiday has always been a treacherous minefield of emotions and hurt feelings.

Selecting which card to give which classmate was always a tricky affair. You wanted to make sure that special someone got a card that adequately expressed your hidden desires, but that wasn’t so obvious that you couldn’t deny it later on the playground after your fellows chant “you love so-and-so” over and over again.


On the other hand, you had to make sure not to give the wrong card to someone you had zero romantic interest in. You didn’t want to give anyone a false impression of your intentions. For an example of just this sort of pitfall, see the episode of The Simpsons where Lisa accidentally choo-choo-chooses Ralph Wiggum.

These Star Trek: The Next Generation Valentine’s cards may be just the thing you’re looking for. All the key characters and components from the spin-off are present and accounted for. You have the likes of Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), Geordi La Forge (LeVar Burton), and Data (Brent Spiner), all prominently featured.

Some of these are pretty damn fun and clever. The “I Have a Crusher” card is perfect. You can imagine buying a sheet of nine of these at the supermarket, and carefully tearing along the perforated lines. “You Transport Me to Happiness” and “Klingon to Me for a Good Time” are also two of the better ones. There are a couple of missteps, but by and large, these are a good time.

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