If there’s one thing the internet is really good at, it’s bringing together people of similar tastes and allowing communities form around those interests. Back in the old days, you might have had to carry your secret desire to re-enact Civil War battles in the nude straight to the grave, because there was no easy way to find other like-minded people who wouldn’t label you a freak and/or call the police. But in our digital era, you can find an online community dedicated to pretty much anything you can think of, from fan groups for movies and television, to social media to help you cyberstalk that girl from high school, to support groups for people who want to legally marry their automobile. Or maybe you’re just looking for two girls for some perfectly innocent Star Trek roleplaying. Don’t worry: nothing weird is going to happen.
That’s the invitation being extended in a Canadian Craigslist ad entitled “Make It So – m4ww.” That’s “man looking for two women” if your Craigslist speak is a little rusty. The poster is hoping to enlist the two lucky females for a bit of Next Generation Trek roleplaying, and he’s very adamant about the Next Gen part. I’ll let the poster explain:
STRICTLY “THE NEXT GENERATION” ERA CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. Last time someone tried TOS and it was a disaster. There will be no mixing of eras. I don’t want to hear how Captain Kirk is so great. Kirk isn’t half the Captain that Picard is, OK? Kirk is a fat chauvinist ladies man. Picard is an honorable intellectual and an excellent diplomat.
Hey, the man knows what he likes, nothing wrong with that. You’d hate to get the girls into your mom’s garage and waste a bunch of time arguing Kirk vs. Picard. Oh wait, did I mention that this roleplaying will take place in his mother’s garage? Yeah, he built a bridge and a “small shuttlecraft” in there, so you know he’s serious about this. He’s even got a script for the event, but he’s willing to collaborate:
Once you have your script you can think about your character and let me know about any ideas you have. We won’t be filming anything it, it’s just a fun way to spend an afternoon. Maybe my mom will make lunch.
My favorite two parts come near the end of the ad. First, he says he has a doctor’s prescription pad and offers to write participants ‘scripts “for basically anything you want.” That line has since been crossed out, but not deleted; make of that what you will.
But the very best part is the final line of the ad: “Nothing weird is going to happen.” All due respect, buddy, but I think we’ve already crossed that bridge. And if you feel the need to specifically say that nothing weird is going to happen, than kind of makes me think something weird is going to happen. I’m not saying this guy will keep you in a pit and lower lotion to you in a basket, but actually that’s totally what I’m saying.
Then of course there’s the big question: is the ad the real thing or just an amusing bit of trollery? There are certainly folks who love LARPing in probably any large urban area, and as I mentioned about the Internet up above, there are probably easier ways to find somebody willing to slide into a Starfleet uniform with you than posting a Craigslist ad that has more red flags than China. I’m leaning more toward “amusing fake” than “earnest Trekkie,” especially given that closing line.
Still, if there are any ladies out there looking to spend a fun-filled afternoon in this guy’s mother’s garage, jostling back and forth at pretend photon torpedo hits, we wish you luck. Maybe bring a bat’leth just in case.