Next month, Hollywood’s elite will gather in the Dolby Theatre to celebrate themselves and their work over the past year. Meanwhile, over in CGI New York, The Asylum’s Sharknado 2: The Second One will be in production, utilizing actors for whom a future Oscar is about as likely as an ice cream cone volcano with chocolate lava. (Don’t steal my idea, Syfy.) The Sharknado sequel is of course bringing back heroes Ian Ziering and Tara Reid, and they’ll be joined in differing capacities by the likes of Andy Dick, Vivica A. Fox, Judah Friedlander, Kelly Osbourne, and Mark McGrath. Taxi star Judd Hirsch will also make a cameo, as a cab driver. It’s like the casting director just stood outside of VH1 a few years ago and made these people promise to star in an as-yet-unconceived project.
When we last left Fin and April, it was after a frigging tornado turned LA into Shark Angeles. The sequel will see this ridiculous weather pattern completely skip over the middle of the United States to lay waste to New York City and its precious non-shark proof architecture and citizens. Obviously there are only two people on the planet that can stop this heinous combination of terror and centripetal force, and the catastrophe-stopping duo cross the country to stop the Big Apple.
Here’s where the new casting comes in. Osbourne will play a flight attendant, and Dick will be an officer with the NYPD, which is something of an insult to the boys in blue. McGrath will play Fin’s brother-in-law, while Fox is slated to be one of Fin’s friends from his high school. I can’t WAIT to see how they get sucked into all this. Perhaps the most important part of all is Friedlander’s, who will play someone named “Brian.” That’s insane! Because his name is Judah.
Fox (who was in Independence Day with Hirsch) has seen her career reach the direct-to-DVD zone, complete with requisite annual appearances in Hallmark holiday movies. She currently stars in the MyNetworkTV comedy Mr. Box Office from Byron Allen. Dick, whose career is just right for Andy Dick, made a great cameo on Jim Jefferies’ FX series Legit last year and will soon be seen in something called Live Nude Girls.
Osbourne has kept herself busy with a catty Joan Rivers on E!’s Fashion Police, as well as voicing a character in the upcoming Disney Junior animated series The 7D. McGrath, who cameoed on ABC’s The Neighbors last month, can be seen each week as the new host of truTV’s Killer Karaoke. With 30 Rock a sadly distant memory, Friedlander can be seen in the upcoming Sundance hit Ping Pong Summer. Hirsch is still a TV regular, showing up last year for a few enjoyable performances as Marc Maron’s dad on IFC’s Maron.
Production on this already doomed epic is set to begin filming next week, with a premiere planned for July on Syfy. I really hope Kirk Cameron and Richie Sambora get added to the cast in the meantime.