Robopocalypse Not Shelved, Says Robot Pretending to be Steven Spielberg

By Nick Venable | 8 years ago

We thought we were safe. We thought the end was on the horizon, but instead it’s looking us right in the face. That could be the shitty tagline for the movie about the news stories about the possible film adaptation of Daniel H. Wilson’s Robopocalypse. It ain’t over till it’s over, and presumably that can’t happen until it’s actually begun.

Immediately refuting this bit of news we told you about, Steven Spielberg told Entertainment Weekly in a slow, monotonous voice that he’s “working on it as we speak.” The project isn’t being delayed definitely nor indefinitely; it’s just being retooled.

Robot Steven Spielberg enjoys bowler hats.
Robot Steven Spielberg enjoys bowler hats.

Considering the delay was blamed on financial and budgetary reasons, it’s no surprise where this retooling will take place. Spielberg jerkily turned his head from side to side and said, ““We found that the film was costing a lot of money and I found a better way to tell the story more economically but also much more personally.” This makes me picture Mecha-Bill Murray wandering the robo-landscape of Wes Anderson’s precious imagination. Which isn’t a terrible thing, but I certainly hope he ups the ante for “personal stories” from his last trip into sci-fi, War of the Worlds. That one had me rooting for Tom Cruise’s family to be destroyed.

“I found the personal way into Robopocalypse, and so I just told everybody to go find other jobs,” Spielberg said, after turning down a glass of water due to problems with internal rusting. “I’m starting on a new script and we’ll have this movie back on its feet soon.” He went on to say there’s no definite timeline for anything further, but he estimates another 6-8 months before the project goes into some aspect of development.

Not sure if this means Drew Goddard is still on the scene or not. Chris Hemsworth will probably be in a Thor costume for the next five years, so who knows where it’ll all go once Spielberg finishes the new script.

Leave A Comment With: