With Continuum and the upcoming series and video game tie-in Defiance, Syfy is continuing to balance its legitimacy against its library of increasingly horrible hybrid monster movies. And thus…wait a minute, you mean to tell me that the reptilian damnation that is Arthur Sinclair’s Robocroc isn’t even a Syfy movie? Suddenly I’m feeling as if I wasn’t supposed to get out of bed today.
So Robocop…er…Robocroc is the product of UFO International Productions, and even if the following scenario sounded extremely realistic, the film’s YouTube page misspells the film’s name as Robocrock. The film is apparently still in production, according to UFO’s website, so perhaps the name changed. Oh wait, the film’s name in the trailer is spelled correctly, so no excuses can be offered. It’s also worth noting that the UFO website has an entire film synopsis, from beginning to end, spoilers and all, and contains the phrase “armed with his knowledge of crocodile behavior and a tactical Electromagnetic Pulse Generator.” Jay-zus!
So, what is this dumb shit about? An unmanned spacecraft disintegrates upon entering Earth’s atmosphere and crashes into the crocodile exhibit at an amusement park/water park. The spacecraft was sheltering a nanotech-based combat drone, and naturally, it finds the biggest fucking crocodile around and turns it into a lean, green killing machine. And all the park’s customers are its meals, I guess. There’s a Piranha 3D thing going on here, just without any of the humor or decent effects work.
The cast includes such thespians as Corin Nemic (Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, Stargate SG-1), Lisa McCallister (Sherlock), Steven Hartley (EastEnders), and Atanas M. Srebrev (Wicked Little Things). The only name of note, really, is the classic genre actress Dee Wallace (E.T., Cujo), but I’m betting dollars to nanotech-laden doughnuts that she’s only in the thing for a brief scene or two.
Do I want to watch Robocroc? You bet your scaly ass I do, if only to theme an alcoholic drink around it.