Warning: There is much NSFW language and dick-shooting in the video below.
Sometimes in life, we avoid doing the things we need to do, whether it’s because there’s pain involved, or because we’re being held up at gunpoint by Clarence Boddicker and his gang. In any case, I’m taking the bullet for not getting around to watching the fan film Our RoboCop Remake until recently, because despite the nearly universal acclaim for it spread across the rest of the Internet, I’d just seen José Padilha’s reboot and I wasn’t ready to see what anyone else had to say about RoboCop‘s legacy. This, of course, was the biggest mistake I could have made, as this is one of the funniest and most inventive things I’ve seen online. I’d kick myself, but there’s a short-circuit in the wiring going from my brain to my legs.
This is what Gus Van Sant’s Psycho should have looked like, had Van Sant grown up batshit insane instead of slightly pretentious. It’s not a shot-for-shot remake so much as it is a reimagining of every shot in Paul Verhoeven’s violence-dripping 1987 hit, as told by around 50 different filmmakers. And every one of those viewpoints is extremely vulgar and rife with hilarious gags. The creators include folks from ScreenJunkies, Cracked, and Fatal Farm, as well as many short filmmakers in their own right. Check out the entire list here.
The scenes are usually anchored by clips from the actual film, reminding us what we would be watching if all these dicks weren’t getting shot off. There’s a huge variety of film styles — faux news footage can change into bright animation, which can then change to campy drama, and then to video game animation. And though the majority of it is indeed live action, there’s enough variety between quality, lens filters, and intentions to keep it extremely fresh from one minute to the next.
I mean, one of the most violent scenes in film history, the assassination of Alex Murphy, is at first told through voiceover with a group of toddlers filling in for Murphy, Boddicker, and his gang. Then it switches to a dialogue-free choreographed dance scene, complete with fabric posing as blood. Not as intense as the original, certainly, but moving nonetheless. Why aren’t more interpretive dances about gang murder? Plus, where else will you get a chance to see not just one but several RoboCop musical numbers, especially the explosive stop-motion ending?
It is now my goal for 2014 never to ignore anything else that the Internet tells me I should watch. I’m really hoping John Travolta decides to record a performance of “Let It Go” at some point. But until then, Honest Trailer time!