Now that the Comic-Con hangover has finally abated, we can get back to the things that matter most on this planet, like doing what robots tell us to do. In this case, we’re talking about RoboCop (which had a mildly interesting Comic-Con panel itself). But this isn’t really about the upcoming José Padilha remake, but rather the manborg himself, and he wants all of us to join his Kickstarter campaign to make Detroit the reputable city that it once was, before…well, before it went all present-day-Detroit on everybody.
Truth be told, this isn’t a real Kickstarter campaign. It’s a humorous video brought to us by Uproxx and 5 Second Films, whose Michael Rousselet dons the old-school silver RoboCop gear (or at least one of the handmade variety) and uses both hyperbole and absurdity to draw attention to the fact that America has left Detroit by the wayside, allowing it to implode upon itself in the shadow the greatness it once was. And all it will take to bring restore it to its former glory is millions upon millions of your own dollars. After all, it’s got ties to the automobile industry, sports history, music history, and killer robots. “How do you get from Motown to techno? Let’s blame Carter.” What else besides Tim Allen does this city need to get the attention of the masses?
How about prizes? RoboCop has a hilarious line-up waiting for those who have plenty of money to donate. Want your name spray-painted on City Hall? It’ll just cost you a dollar. Want to name a street? It’s just $30. Want nothing at all? That’ll set you back $20. Spend $10,000 to get a 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, or spend five grand more to get a Honda. Hey, it’s Detroit. They don’t care what you’re driving. Pay a lower-middle-class yearly salary to keep anyone you want in prison, or double it to educate a child. RoboCop is no stranger to satire, people.
While many of these options are amusing and poke fun at the city, I’m pretty sure a large enough group of people would be willing to scrape together enough money to secure a hard R rating for Padilha’s film. Maybe not $100 million, but still.
In the meantime, that RoboCop statue — itself the product of a successful Kickstarter campaign — will have to suffice until someone drops $200 million to become a real RoboCop. Richard Branson? Jeff Bezos?
Need more technology in your life? How about the iPatch for pirates? The following 5 Second Film will tell you all about it.