What’s the difference between a lawyer and a toilet? A toilet is only full of shit sometimes. I don’t mean to make fun of lawyers with that joke, as I would sincerely like to replace “lawyer” with the name “Guy Cramer,” the guy who is quoted as saying he invented the Harry Potter invisibility cloak, but I can’t actually tell if the guy is full of shit or not. Every ounce of my being thinks it to be so, but… wait, this isn’t a courtroom. Yeah, I’m pretty sure this guy is full of shit. This is one of those times I would absolutely love to be proven wrong, but I just wrote a story last month about the extreme complication involved in bending light, and thus creating “invisibility,” around very small objects. Cramer says he’s hiding humans.
Slap yourself in the face if you didn’t think this had something to do with the military, and then pat yourself on the back for not thinking it had anything to do with Canadian military. Guy Cramer is the CEO of Hyperstealth Biotechnology Corp., is something of a legend when it comes to camouflage design around the world. He says he has now gone the extra step up and created a fabric that will render soldiers completely invisible by bending light waves around them. Apparently he already has a proof of concept that members of the U.S. and Canadian military have seen and verified to be real, at least to Cramer himself. But nobody else can see the product in action, due to “security” issues.
“Two separate command groups within the U.S. Military and two separate Canadian Military groups as well as Federal Emergency Response Team (Counter Terrorism) have seen the actual material so they could verify that I was not just manipulating video or photo results,” Mr Cramer said. “These groups now know that it works and does so without cameras, batteries, lights or mirrors. It is lightweight and quite inexpensive. Both the U.S. and Canadian military have confirmed that it also works against military IR scopes and Thermal Optics.”
I wonder if it’s as bad at Photoshopping than the mocker-upper who created those pictures is. Is that his daughter or something? In any case, Cramer said the project is moving forward now, so we should be “not” seeing this technology at some point in the future, and I will damned sure eat my words if it appears. But if it doesn’t, and Cramer’s excuse is, “We can’t even find it because the invisibility is, like, that good,” then I’ll assume I’m in a extended dream state and try to find a unicorn to ride to Camelot.
CNN, America’s soggy litmus paper for truth, had an interview with Cramer on The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer. Check out the video below.
Here is Cramer relating his background in camouflage design, just after the host with the really really active left hand. Pay attention to the video snippet shown at 1:52.
I feel like I’ve been in a wormhole for the past hour, traveling between the reality of maneuvering between Chrome windows and the dubiousness of invisibility cloaks. I feel that searching the web for “naked wonder woman” pictures might bring me some closure here.