Prime Minister Of New Zealand Claims He’s Not A Shapeshifting Alien

By Joelle Renstrom | Updated

This article is more than 2 years old

Lizard
PM David Cameron, also accused of being a shapeshifting reptilian alien
It might sound like a strange claim to make. We’re used to leaders furnishing evidence proving they were indeed born in the United States, or that they didn’t father an illegitimate child or get up to shenanigans with one of their aides. So why would New Zealand Prime Minister John Key be asked to prove that he’s not an alien, as though it’s somehow presumed that he is?

Conspiracy theorists already know the answer to this question — it has to do with British author and conspiracy theory master David Icke, who used to be a professional football player and sports personality but now publishes books and travels the globe speaking about how the world is being controlled by a global elite sometimes known as the “Illuminati” who are descended from an ancient, extraterrestrial bloodline. Most world leaders, including both George Bushes, Barack Obama, and the Queen, fall into this category, and Icke believes them to be shapeshifting reptilian aliens.

Icke believes that groups ranging from the Bilderbergs to the UN to the CIA are all controlled by these shapeshifting aliens who are bent on world domination. Well, that last part sadly doesn’t seem all that implausible, but the whole reptiles who came from the fourth dimension and bred with humans thing is just a little bit difficult to swallow. Icke even goes so far as to posit that Adam may have been the first human/reptile hybrid. Huh, but not the temptress Eve? Despite his claim that the Queen is “seriously reptilian” and his recent focus on Beyonce, most of folks Icke suggests aren’t human are men.

Beyonce illuminati

The focus landed on Prime Minister Key when a man from Auckland filed an Official Information Act requesting “any evidence to disprove the theory that Mr. John Key is in fact a David Icke style shapeshifting reptilian alien ushering humanity towards enslavement.” Key’s chief of staff declined the request given that the requested information “does not exist or cannot be found.”

Still, either because he’s a good sport or because he hoped to put an end to the theory, Key went to a doctor and to a vet, both of whom confirmed that he is indeed human. Well, what if the vet and the doctor are both evil shapeshifters? Where’s the proof that they aren’t? Key also says that he’s never been to space or aboard a spaceship and that his tongue is of normal size. But how can you prove that, Mr. Prime Minister?

Icke has also accused former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney of being both a shapeshifter and a pedophile who sacrifices children — a fun past-time of the human/reptilian evil aliens. Others, according to Icke, include England Prime Minister David Cameron, Bob Hope, Kris Kristofferson, Al Gore, Beyonce, and Prince Philip. But not Lady Gaga, who could probably shapeshift into just about anything.