Cypher Raige in After Earth
Cypher Raige (Will Smith) may be one hell of a soldier — you can tell by that sweet-ass name that practically screams I’m a badass — but he’s not much of a dad. Emotionally distant, he’s been away for the vast majority of his son Kitai’s (Will’s real-life son Jaden Smith) life, and he has zero clue how to relate to the boy, even though all the kid wants in the world is to be more like his dad.
And then when the two crash-land on what turns out to be Earth, he sends the kid on what is essentially a suicide mission across miles and miles of open jungle where he can barely breathe and every living thing the kid encounters wants to kill him. And what does dear old dad do? He sits on his ass back at the crash site. At least Rick Grimes would have tried to go along for the ride, ill advised as it might have been.
If He Was Our Dad: We’d be a little sad that our name sounds so incredibly silly that no one can say it without laughing. Then we’d make sure that we had a pair of sturdy boots at our disposal, because we’ve probably got a long walk in front of us.
Ideal Father’s Day Gift: After the crash, Cypher really could use some urgent medical attention. A trip to the nearest emergency room might be in order. Aside from that, we’d probably get him a picture of us to take with him on his next deployment so he remembers what we look like. We’d even make sure it has a nice frame, since he’s not the kind of guy who seems like he’d appreciate something homemade with uncooked macaroni glued to it.