In case you didn’t realize what you were getting into when you clicked on this story, we’re showing you the first footage and first poster-type-thing to come from John Johnson (Dante’s Inferno) and Darkstone Entertainment’s upcoming remake of Ed Wood’s cult classic Plan 9 From Outer Space, retitled simply Plan 9. It turns out a Total Recall remake wasn’t actually the most ill-conceived idea ever. I don’t really know what to say about all this that doesn’t end in me just asking, “Why?” a bunch of times in a row. Perhaps if I’d been aware of the remake before seeing the clip, I could have gotten all of those questions out of the way at an earlier time. But still…
Exposition: The director Edward D. Wood, Jr. — the subject of the last great Tim Burton movie — lived the life of low-budget movies, and Plan 9 From Outer Space is probably his most famous film, if only because its revelry in camp performances hit it big in the video market in the ’80s, when it was first pegged to be the “worst film ever made.” (Which isn’t the case nowadays.) It’s a film that people generally watch to enjoy its faults, but it still retains something of its original, unironic charm.
In steps Johnson for a modern retelling of Wood’s original ideas, one which won’t resort to camp or parody. Or so the press release states. Because really, the clip is pretty terrible, though it’s mostly down to the cast delivering their lines as awkwardly as possible. I’m not even talking about Mister Lobo (Cinema Insomnia With Mister Lobo), because that guy is inherently in that zone all the time. I’m talking about Brian Krause (Charmed) and Matthew Ewald. This all comes across like a high school play version of The Mist, only with zombies outside. I’m wondering if removing “From Outer Space” from the title will also tweak the plotline. But I’m not wondering about it much.
I’d love to look forward to this, as John Johnson is currently directing the YouTube channel “Spooky Tales”, which is an anthology adaptation of Alvin Schwartz’s Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and the ones I’ve seen are pretty awesome, especially considering it’s a non-profit project. But Plan 9 might need to be a little bit scarier to get me on board. Check out the first poster for the film below.