Double the fun, double the terror, and double the Hoff. That’s right, David Hasselhoff is reprising his role as America’s favorite lifeguard in all of his tan, shirtless, be-whistled glory, but he’s doing it in Piranha 3DD.
For those of you who haven’t seen the first Piranha movie, don’t worry, the concept is pretty simple. Piranhas turn up in the most unlikely places—water parks, bathtubs, freshwater lakes— and then kill a bunch of really attractive people.
Sounds godawful, doesn’t it? Not to worry, the trailer shows that Piranha 3DD will be just as over the top and self-deprecatingly funny as the first by cramming in as many tropes and horror cliches as possible.
Sitting in a beach chair while models in bikinis get ripped apart, the Hof deadpans: “First of all, I’m not a lifeguard, never was. Secondly, that is what natural selection is all about.” Watch him work…
It’s hard to tell which scene was more disturbing: the atrociously fake, wriggling piranha leaping up towards the camera or Hasselhoff’s pecs jiggling up and down as he struggles (and fails) to recreate his famous “Baywatch” scene.
Thankfully, his shorts provide slightly more coverage this time around. In any case; if you have a strong stomach, ability to appreciate the purposefully terrible acting and plot, and a fondness for scantily clad “water certified strippers,” be sure to head to your nearest movie theater on June 1.