We’re going to pretend actual tragedies don’t exist, given the timing, and let’s act like nothing could be worse for time travel than Michael Bay producing a movie about it. Are we all non-realistically nauseated right now? We’ve talked about it before, and how it wants to be Back to the Future II, but not really. I mean, Michael Bay wants to make good movies, but not really.
Now Paramount wants to make time travel movies with Michael Bay. Well, let me give everyone their due credit here. Paramount wants to make Almanac with Michael Bay’s production company, Platinum Dunes, which has rebooted and fucked up a ton of horror franchises. No, wait. Let me try again.
Everything appears to be the same on the project, and Dean Israelite is directing, while screenwriters Andrew Stark and Jason Pagan are penning the script.
Almanac is everybody’s first feature rodeo for both the writers and director, though Israelite has a few worthwhile short films behind him, one of which can be watched here if you have an Amazon Prime account. Maybe you can find them on YouTube somewhere. Maybe a name change will help Ninja Turtles from becoming a disaster. Who knows? Us from the future, duh.
Almanac is about a kid who’s late father was a scientist who discovered a method of time travel. In order to win a girl’s heart, he goes back into the past armed with a sports almanac. There are twists and presumably robots are involved and explosions occur frequently.
With only Pain & Gain and The Purge ahead for them, Platinum Dunes shall for now be known as a company that makes really shitty movies. If that changes in the future, I’m first in line for apology bracelets. In the meantime, check out what Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse Cinema is putting on.