In 1993 Steven Spielberg’s dinosaur adventure Jurassic Park terrorized audiences worldwide, and caused many of us to spend an entire summer in the welcoming darkness of a movie theater. Through ubiquitous 3D conversion in movies is way past annoying and tiresome, the idea of Jurassic Park 3D, which opens this Friday, April 5th, is pretty freaking exciting. The folks over at Screen Junkies have even seen fit to give it the Honest Trailer treatment.
An obvious attempt to squeeze even more money out of a 20-year-old film, all of the points and criticism in this trailer are completely valid, but we’re all still going to see this and love the hell out it. The CGI most definitely holds up, and the technology most certainly does not. Remember interactive CD-ROMs? That’s a hazy memory, at best.
T-Rex, Velociraptors, and kids stranded in Jeeps all add up to a magical journey “back to a time before every movie was needlessly converted to 3D.” That was a fantastic time to be alive, and I do miss the days when you didn’t need a pair of uncomfortable plastic glasses to watch a movie.
Also, and perhaps most importantly, there’s Jeff Goldblum. Sweet, sweet Jeff Goldblum. To this day, I’ve never really been able to figure out why his Dr. Ian Malcolm is even invited for the park tour. He’s a theoretical mathematician, and, as the honest trailer points out, has no practical knowledge about dinosaurs. He’s just there to wear black and be awesome. And that’s enough for me.