Jesus Will Destroy Zombies, Cowboys, And Romans In Once Upon A Time In Jerusalem

By Nick Venable | 7 years ago

fist of jesusWe tend to talk about zombie comedies a lot here at GFR, from the upcoming CW series iZombie to the undead beaver extravaganza Zombeavers. They’re almost always more original and enjoyable than most of the senselessly derivative thrillers that come out these days. Case in point: the Spanish splatter comedy short Fist of Jesus is one of the funniest things I’ve ever watched in my life, short form or long, and directors Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz are midway through an IndieGoGo campaign to raise funds for a feature-length follow-up titled Once Upon a Time in Jerusalem. Do your sense of humor a favor and mortgage your house to help get this movie made.

I guess it would help if you knew a little bit about the movie first. The multi-award-winning Fist of Jesus centers on the violently superb exploits of Jesus, played with tongue-in-cheek aplomb by Marc Velasco. He’s seriously up there with Charlie Sheen in Hot Shots as a perfect lead for over-the-top comedy. (Everyone else loves Hot Shots as much as I do, right?). He teams up with unlikely partner, Judas (Noé Blancafort), for a slapstick-and-wit-infused adventure that builds up to a massive action sequence where an endless amount of fish weapons are used to annihilate a massive horde of the undead. Seriously, it’s one of the greatest 15-minute experiences of your life. (Wink, wink.)

Once Upon a Time in Jerusalem will build upon that concept and…You know what? You guys go ahead and feast your eyes on this insane NSFW short before we go on.

Fist of Jesus English subtitles from Fist of Jesus on Vimeo.

As I was saying, Once Upon a Time in Jerusalem will follow Jesus on a trip to the Oracle of Delphos, who advises him to head out on a perilous journey with twelve mercenaries to take on a ridiculous line of merciless adversaries. The enemies will include, but are not limited to, “zombies, demons, post-apocalyptic punks, mutants, cowboys, the Roman Army, monsters, mythological creatures and steampunk technology.” As you could probably tell by Fist of Jesus, Cardona and Muñoz are averse to using CGI effects and aim to create as many practical effects as their budget allows.

Plus, a little bird (David Muñoz) told me that they’re planning on putting a Giant Freakin’ Robot in the climax. This isn’t a spoiler alert so much as it is a call to arms. We need more giant robots in our gory comedies.

Check out the full campaign video below, which includes some concept footage that will be reshot for the final product, assuming everyone chips in. In the meantime, I’ll be busy building the biggest collection plate possible. Once Upon a Time in Jerusalem from Fist of Jesus on Vimeo.

With donor prizes that include copies of the film, props, set visits, private screenings, and more, this campaign seems like a surefire success, but it still needs quite a bit of help. Spend enough money and you can actually appear in the film for a unique death scene, or even come up with an idea for your own Jesus short film. Those are two of the sweetest rewards conceivable?

Fish around in your pockets and couch for any extra cashola you have and get this film made. It’s what Jesus would do.