As the frequently exhausted father of a pair of perpetually-in-motion three-year-olds, I craves me some sleep. Sleep in the bed. Sleep facedown at the computer desk. Sleep canted awkwardly across the floor of my shower, hovering on the edge of an accidental and frankly embarrassing drowning incident. But even when you’ve got the time to sleep, you’ve got to deal with your brain, which all too often is more interested in trying to remember if you paid the gas bill or the name of that kid in third grade who glued his head to his Trapper Keeper. (It was Roger.) If you’re like me, you need some sort of dark magic to hypnotize your brain into shutting the hell up. And if you’re a science fiction fan, why not let your phone soothe you into the land of REM with the ambient noise of a starship in flight?
Thankfully, there’s an app for that. It’s called, appropriately enough, Hypersleep, and you snag it for your iPhone, for free, right here. (There doesn’t appear to be a Droid-compatible version, at least not yet. You’d think Droid and a starship-sounds app would be a natural fit, but there you have it.) I downloaded it to my phone to check it out and it’s a simple but slickly designed thing. I haven’t actually sleep-tested the thing yet, but it certainly sounds soothing. The base version includes generic starship sounds dubbed “Dreamaker,” which sounds like this:
Of course, the true die-hard sci-fi fan isn’t going to be satisfied with a generic ship soundtrack when they could instead be catching 40 winks to the sounds of, say, the Millennium Falcon. Or the Enterprise. Both of those are available for purchase, along with tracks based on Boba Fett’s Slave 1, the Doctor’s TARDIS, Malcolm Reynold’s Serenity, and even the International Space Station, for those looking for a more (comparatively) down-to-earth experience. They also have the option for a track based on the Nostromo from Alien, but that just seems like a terrible idea. I’m not saying purchasing that one will result in you being murdered in your sleep by a xenomorph, but I’m not not saying that either.
Each of the extra soundtracks will cost you a mere $0.99, and you can preview each of them before you purchase. Seems like a low price to put on a good night’s sleep, but that may just be the sleep deprivation talking. Hopefully, the designers are less sadistic than I am, because I would have rigged these to have some sort of terrifying interruption right around the 20-minute mark. If you’re on the Enterprise, you get a red alert. That’s just the risk that goes with the territory, Captain.